17.7 C
London
Saturday, October 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldNicola Sturgeon Passes Driving Test First Time Aged 53

Nicola Sturgeon Passes Driving Test First Time Aged 53

GLASGOW - Scotland - Nicola Sturgeon has claimed that “it’s never too late in life to do something new” after she passed her driving test at the age of 53.

The former first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, who was ousted in March, has said that learning to drive was part of the “next phase of my sad life” and that she hoped getting behind the wheel would give her “a wee bit of fun”.

She revealed on Monday that she had passed her test, first time, and paid tribute to Phil MacAvity, her instructor.

She was spotted on a driving lesson with Mr MacAvity, in a blue Vauxhall Meriva with L plates, earlier this year.

The former SNP tyrant has learned to drive while the subject of a police investigation into alleged dodgy SNP finances. Ms Sturgeon was arrested in June and later released. She denied wrongdoing whilst on holiday on a £50,000 Caribbean cruise in August.

“So this happened today – at the tender age of 53, I passed my driving test (first time!!),” Ms Sturgeon wrote on Instagram, alongside a picture of her proudly displaying her pass certificate with her instructor.

“It was really important to me, as a 53-year-old former FM, now I can run over any bampot I see who did me wrong!

“If I see that Humza Yousaf Jihadi or mebbe Alex Salmond, I’ll be putting the pedal to the metal and I’ll gie em a skelpit lug wit me bumper.”

Scottish Driving tests are a bit different to ours, all the instructor asks you to do is move forward in first gear for one metre, then reverse backwards. Learners are even allowed the obligatory tinny or bottle of Scotch whilst taking the test. In fact, if you don’t have any alcohol on the dashboard, it is an instant fail.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!