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THE HIGHLANDS - Scotland - According to SNP aides on a recent field trip to Loch Ruthven, which lies 2.3 km south east of Loch Ness, Nicola Sturgeon rushed into the water at great speed, lifted her skirt and immediately gave birth.
LONDON – England – Theresa May, Britain’s Brexiteering PM has vowed to give England and Wales a referendum on whether to keep Scotland.
GLASGOW - Scotland - Thanks to Theresa May, Article 50 to leave the EU will probably never be triggered.
GLASGOW - Scotland - In another supremely vindictive threat to the UK, SNP leader is now threatening to use MSPs to veto the EU referendum vote in Holyrood which could ultimately scupper the democratically voted Brexit.
EDINBURGH - Scotland - As predicted accurately by the Daily Squib, the Scots will put an end to any victory if the English vote Out during the EU Referendum earmarked for June of this year.
LONDON - England - The expensive HS2 rail link has been scrapped by the new Conservative government, who are now looking into a better solution for the Scotland problem -- Hadrian's Wall 2.