17.7 C
London
Thursday, April 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldUK Population to Overtake Africa for First Time in History Due to...

UK Population to Overtake Africa for First Time in History Due to Record Migration

LONDON - England - The record immigration statistics puts the UK on track to overtake Africa’s population by July 2023.

C’mon on over, we have no space left on our once beautiful tiny island. Thanks to the EU laws and remainers blocking any action to try and slow the flow of migration, as well as an open door policy by the current conservative government — legal migration and illegal migration is completely out of control. Thank god for Brexit…er…yeah.

Migrants totalling the entire continent of Africa have migrated to the UK within the last two years, the ONS estimate showed. The ONS statistics reveal 1,433,354,588 people came to live in the UK in 2022 alone.

“Next year we hope to include the entire continent of Asia to travel to the UK and be given entry without any checks. The majority will all settle somewhere in Croydon, South London. I am sure we have enough space for them all,” a cheerful Home Office migration manager revealed.

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak said in a speech on Thursday that Britain is indeed “taking back our borders by letting in billions of migrants who will be very useful for the nation” he added that the “benefits of Brexit were really being exercised by the remainer government”.

“The benefits far outweigh the negatives of the massive influx for the UK population. Our plan is to flood NHS services until the entire service crumbles. Kill off the welfare and benefits system. Blight the nation with unsightly cheap housing. Flood the school system until that crumbles, and flood the roads so that no one can travel faster than 3 MPH. I have to thank my remainer cabinet members; the ECJ, the ECHR, my bosses in Brussels, the civil service remainers, Treasury remainers, Jeremy Hunt and the Bank of England for making life in the UK unliveable and truly horrific. No doubt you will vote for me and the conservatives to continue doing what we do best in 2024 — ruining your fucking lives you pompous English fucking peasants. I am now off to eat an expensive curry — fuck you all!”

Meanwhile, as the population of Britain rises, so is inflation rising at an exponential rate, as well as interest rates. Enjoy, and don’t even think of getting an appointment with your local GP for about six years.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. This will come true soon. Hopefully they are all housed in Tony Blair’s mansions.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »