Russian Bear Gets a Good Kicking From Tiny Island Cyprus

LIMASSOL - Cyprus - It seems that the Greek Cypriot banks were actually a honey trap for rich Russian businessmen and the Mafia as they all took a 40% hit on their bank balances last night.

Southern Cyprus may be a tiny piece of land in the Mediterranean ocean but it has inflicted a massive hit on the huge behemoth Mother Russia with a bank grab on depositors netting billions of Russian euros.

“Like David and Goliath, we have tamed the Russian bear with one fell swoop. We took your money you Russkie bastards. Don’t mess with the Greeks in the EU,” Costas Malakas, a restaurant owner from Limassol told Greek Daily News.

There is jubilation on the island as the credit crisis has been averted after much procrastination.

“We took 40% of their cash. Those Russkies got hammered bad. I hope they’re ok about us taking their billions,” a jovial Greek Cypriot politician said looking over his shoulder nervously.

Nicos Papalopoudopous, a jubilant shop owner from Nicosia said: “Russians who were suckered into our Greek Cypriot honey trap must feel like asses right now. They were led to the slaughter like sheep in a pen. With interest rates from our crooked banks as high as 10% if they did not know this was a honey trap they must’ve been stupid. It’s your fault you vodka swilling Russian losers. Remember the old saying, ‘Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts’ well how about that for a gift?”