Former royal, Meghan Markle is appealing for the coronavirus pandemic to be ended, or put on hold because it is messing with her headlines and PR campaigns.
Having no qualms about abandoning her own family and 72-year-old father who had two heart attacks, it is not surprising that Meghan does not care much for the people dying from coronavirus.
“The headlines are not about me, Meghan Markle, instead they are about this awful pandemic, about old people dying, I mean who fucking cares about them? These old people are taking away my headlines, just let ’em go. Then it’s about coronavirus masks, and food bank queues, and corona this, corona that! There’s nothing about my new foundation Archehole, or my new initiative to slow global warming by stitching up elephant assholes so their farts do not damage the ozone layer.”
Harry and Meghan, who claim they left the UK because of press intrusion, are now even more distraught that the press have got better things to report than the gimmie dat couple who just ‘take, take, take’.
One of Meghan’s aides revealed in secret that the atmosphere is very tense in the Harry and Meghan household.
“She orders the servants to rearrange the furniture every two hours, and is so irritated by the coronavirus headlines that whenever someone on TV starts talking about the virus, she shouts at the top of her voice about how great Meghan is, and how she is going to save the world. Meghan is now writing affirmations with her third sharpie all over the walls of the rented villa in Los Angeles where she is in lockdown with poor Harry and Archie.”
In desperation, Meghan Markle is actually thinking of phoning up Donald Trump, who she. hates, and demanding he halts the pandemic immediately, so she can get some headlines once again.