17.7 C
London
Wednesday, March 18, 2026
secret satire society
HomeWorldBoris Johnson Buys Pair Flip Flops For Holiday

Boris Johnson Buys Pair Flip Flops For Holiday

LONDON - England - The errant Mayor of London is certainly a likeable fellow, but he has recently taken to buying flip flops for his holiday in some EU sinkhole, and denied his interest in an in/out EU referendum.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

“By Jove, I used to be for an in/out EU referendum but now I’m not sure this minute and am towing the europhile line. You know Bo Jo’s always up for a smattering of in/out with some floozy when the missus is not looking, but this time I said ‘non’ to the EU referendum and joined the frogs and Cammo for a no in/out reffy,” Mr Johnson said before popping into his office for another in/out session with his secretary, Miss Luscious Lips.

Reporters for the Evening Standard who were perched outside Mr Johnson’s London Mayoral office yesterday also heard Boris quoting Latin whilst grunting like a wild animal.

“I was just teaching a young blonde intern a little first conjugation ‘Amo, Amas, Amat.’ She had very kindly delivered a new pair of flip flops for the family holiday in Montenegro next week,” Boris was reported as saying when he opened the door afterwards.

Boris Johnson and his new pair of flip flops, probably paid off by some EU bureaucrat, will be on holiday all of next week, his office has revealed.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai

    1 COMMENT

    Comments are closed.

    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH