Fred the Shred and Bob the Rob Finally Get Their Just Desserts

LONDON - England - The corrupt British banking institutions were delightfully graced yesterday with some crumpet, a dollop of paint and some bouncy joy cushions.

“It wasn’t so much an attack on the banking institutions that have robbed the population blind, but more of a commendation of the massive upheavel that these banker boys have created,” a man who as at London’s Barclays head office said.

The banker dolls first went to the Barclays HQ to condemn that awful Bob Diamond character, then they went to RBS to rub something or other onto Fred the Shred Goodwin, and finally they arrived at the Old Lady at Threadneedle street to give old Mervyn an aneurysm or two before he retires, or maybe just a semi.

“I was busy counting my earnings I had made that week, you know £358,000 by robbing some poor misinformed people of their pensions. Certainly small change if you’re a banker, when I looked out the window and saw Fred the Shred and Bob the Rob plastered all over some spondelicious totty. I nearly dropped my loot as my eyeballs popped out of my bankers head. I am such a banker, or maybe that should read, wanker,” Lewis Carlton, 28, a banker at Barclays told the Sun.