17.7 C
London
Thursday, March 19, 2026
secret satire society
HomeWorldThousands Ringing Banks Asking to Only Pay Back 50% of Debt

Thousands Ringing Banks Asking to Only Pay Back 50% of Debt

LONDON - England - After hearing of Greece's wonderful luck in having 50% of its debt written off by the banks, thousands of ordinary customers have been ringing their banks asking for the same.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

All day Thursday, Santander, Lloyds, Barclays, Natwest and many other banking institutions have been deluged by desperate customers trying to get 50% of their debt written off.

“If Greece can spend like crazy for ten years, then get a 50% haircut for the debt they owe as well as another big fat cheque, why can’t I?” Billy Blunts, 56, a teacher from Wandsworth, who is in serious debt, told the Daily Mail.

Thousands of people have been on the phone lines asking the banks to grant them some kind of clemency, but no one has been successful yet.

“I phoned my bank up and asked them to take a 50% haircut on my loan. I too deserve to be rewarded for being lazy and not paying any tax. I’ve never heard anyone laughing like that, bunch of jackals, the lot of them,” an angry Clarence Beaks, 45, from Colchester told the BBC.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH