gamblers migrant caravan

Marvin Rogers, 63, an avid gambler all his life has today joined a migrant caravan of 20,000 gamblers travelling from Carson City, Nevada to Las Vegas.

The distance of 466 miles has been crushing to many of the gamblers who are grossly obese, and have to have junk food snacks every fifteen minutes.

“We started at 6.30 am yesterday and we only got eight miles into the journey,” Pamela Bourdain, 38, told CBS local news.

The migrant caravan has taken the American press by surprise because it contains only Americans who are going to besiege Caesars Palace and demand luxury rooms for all, free meals, and no limits gambling purses.

“Blackjack and roulette, and a little bit of poker, then a sauna, some ladies of the night, some powder, and a large slap up meal in my room, then more gambling,” another gambler trudging along the highway told news reporters slobbering at the mouth at the very thought of it.

Along the route, many residents cheer the gamblers along, even throwing casino chips at them to spur them on to their destination.

President Trump, a seasoned gambler himself did not condone the migrant caravan of gamblers but made a joke about the convoy: “I do not condone a caravan of people walking on their feet to demand things from other people or nations, but I have ordered Stormy Daniels to be at her post in the casino so when the gamblers get there, she will have to service each and every one of them.”

When contacted, the management of Caesars Palace, were not sure how to counteract the news that the caravan was on its way to their casino.

“You’re saying that 20,000 gamblers in a walking migrant caravan are heading over here? You say they demand free meals, free gambling, free luxury suites and free prostitutes? Anselmo, come here right now. Get them Mexican boys to build a wall around the casino with gun turrets. Nothing is free in Vegas. Nothing!”

Chief spokesman for the gamblers caravan, Dwight Oros, was adamant that the gamblers convoy had every right to do what they are doing.

“We have every right to migrate in our thousands to anywhere we want and demand we get free food, free gambling chips, free luxury suites, and women. This is our right as humans, and nobody can stop us. We want our payday, we’re owed this goddammit!!”


As of 13.00 PDT today, the migrant convoy of gamblers will reach the outskirts of Las Vegas. As more news filters in, we will keep you updated.