Canadian Remoaner Bank of England governor, Mark Carney, has warned of catastrophic events rivalling the apocalypse written about in the bible if there is a No Deal Brexit.
“On the day of No Deal Brexit, in the skies we will see four horsemen riding across the clouds, and trumpets sounding across the land, then a great fissure will open up stretching from Margate to Edinburgh. From this crack in the earth, lava shall pour out and then from the skies there shall be locusts, big fucking locusts, each the size of an Audi Quattro, and they shall descend onto the population and crops in their millions stripping Britain of everything valuable.
“Then on the second day of No Deal Brexit, a trumpet will sound from the heavens and lava will spew out of massive holes in the earth and cover the land in hellfire. There shall be rivers of blood as all of Britain’s rivers will fill up with…er..blood. And on that day, a volcano will emerge from the Houses of Parliament covering the area with black clouds and hot lava.
“On the third day of No Brexit, Britain’s population will realise their house prices are so low that they are now deemed worthless, that is if there are any people left alive, and the pestilence will have spread across the land killing and maiming the one’s still standing.
“On the fourth day…etc etc..”
