Yes, it’s that time of year again, i.e. the summer, where you spend all your money on crowded holidays with everyone else in the searing heat and the skin cancerous beating down sun.

Forget about crowded beaches laden with micro-plastics that leach Bisphenol A into your flesh, or the sewage infested waters you dip your children into with thousands of other holiday makers.

DAILY SQUIB SUMMER HOLIDAY OFFER

The Daily Squib has circumnavigated all of this with our summer special holiday season offer.

You will spend three weeks bed and board in an abandoned dark cave without any food in complete darkness.

The highlight of the holiday will be licking water from the cave walls accompanied by an incessant dripping sound echoing through the cave.

To add to your holiday delight, you will have to pee and crap in the same spot of the cave for three weeks adding to the authentic essence of summer.

At the end of the three weeks, you will be given some flippers and goggles, and told to take a deep breath and swim for three miles underwater to check out from your holiday.

Only 10 Thai Cave Holidays Allowed Per Household

Hurry, these holidays are going quick.

To get your Thai Cave Holiday, send your last will of testament and a Self Addressed Envelope to: Squib Thai Cave Offer, P.O. Box 101, London, W1 6DA, United Kingdom.