17.7 C
London
Wednesday, May 29, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEU Kommandant Martin Selmayr Gloats Over England World Cup Loss

EU Kommandant Martin Selmayr Gloats Over England World Cup Loss

BERLIN - Germany - Martin Selmayr, a high ranking EU Kommandant, mocked England's exit from the World Cup with a Twitter post emphasising the EU's superiority last night.

High ranking EU Kommandant Martin Selmayr giggled with glee at the end of England’s World Cup dreams and posted pro-EU propaganda to celebrate on Twitter, it has been reported.

Kommandant Selmayr, whose grandfather was lieutenant-colonel Josef Selmayr, a convicted war criminal – later pardoned – who served in the Balkans fighting for Hitler in WW2, has no love for the English.

“Every time the Kommandant hears the name of an English person, or England, his face goes sour, I once saw him spit into his wastepaper bin when someone mentioned ‘Windsor Castle’. The Kommandant is very particular about the EU ruining Britain, he always says that even though Germany lost the war in 1945, we won in the end with the EU. He is of course correct 100%, because it is now the UK that takes orders from the EU, and who rules the EU? Yes, you guessed it — Germany!”

Kommandant Selmayr was recently promoted to his post by Jean Claude Juncker, whose father was a prominent Nazi fighting on the Russian front in WW2 as well.

Juncker’s father-in-law, Louis Mathias Frising — dad to Juncker’s wife of 35 years Christiane — was a teacher in Ettelbruck, Luxembourg, when the Germans invaded in 1940.

Frising volunteered to be a Nazi propaganda chief while banning spoken French in favour of German.

He was also responsible for enforcing a law which stripped Jews of their rights and professions — the first stage of the Holocaust.

“So, as you can see you Englischer swine, the hierarchy of the EU is currently run by people who have a Nazi lineage. It is quite fitting, is it not?” a former EU Commission employee revealed.

If Hitler were alive today, he would be proud of the EU.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »