Speaking from the White House, Barack Hussein Obama said: “My fellow Americans. This is one meeting I am not going to walk out of because it is imperative that I hang around and tell you about the Murdochs. This morning I ordered the Federal Bureau of Investigation to raid the Murdoch penthouse in Manhattan and to take the evil Murdochs to Gitmo. They hacked 9/11 victims’ phones. Yes, you heard right, the same shits who run Fox news were hacking the cell phones of 9/11 victims and families. These despicable, heinous, hypocritical acts made me actually lose my cool when I heard them and I bust a nut man, yep, I threw a few papers around in the Oval office and I kind of made some angry noises under my breath. Shi-i-i-e-t mofo, I feel like getting medieval on someone’s ass right now, those boys need to get taken down big time. It was kinda nice seeing them wearing the orange jump suits as they were put on the plane to be flown to Gitmo. For a change I was decisive. I was proud of myself, hey, looks like I’m slowly getting some fuckin’ balls for a change. Sheesh!”
Rupert Murdoch and his son will be imprisoned in Guantanamo bay for the next 50 years without any chance of parole.
Some of the wonderful amenities the Murdochs will be enjoying at the detention camp will be daily beatings, hourly electro-shock treatment on the testicles and daily humiliation sessions with special guest Lynndie England.
The Murdochs will be confined to a 3 by 4 foot cage for 23 hours a day where they can relax and think about their crimes against humanity.