Labour: "Deny Everything"

LONDON - England - Criminals working in Parliament under the Labour party, who are making large sums of money from bribes, were told to deny everything by the PMs office today.

“We are advising all of our Labour ministers who are taking bribes from companies, to deny everything even though they were caught on camera committing the crimes,” Gordon Brown told the BBC.

No Inquiry

Many Labour MPs are allegedly now hired by International clients to do dodgy business deals and are receiving secret monetary recompense for their hard work.

“I can get you in to have a cup of tea with Tony Blair for £5,000. Just leave the money in a brown envelope by the door and it will be done,” one of the thieves tells the reporter during secret filming.

Another Labour MP offers the imaginary clients lucrative contracts for no less than £25,000 transferred to an offshore account somewhere in the Maldives.

Labour’s central office was today denying anything had ever happened and said the charges “were ridiculous lies, and those people filmed were not Labour MPs but CGI creations sanctioned by the Tory party”.

Gordon Brown himself has said: “Labour party MPs have the divine right to operate above any laws and are therefore deemed as untouchable.”