Speaking from his Virginia residence just a few blocks away from the CIA headquarters, the former vice president told Fox news of his hunger to be finally recognised for his service to the United States.
“I’ve committed heck of a lot of atrocities, torture as well as planned mass exterminations in Iraq and Afghanistan. I did this all in the name of the United States and War of Terror. I have been sidelined all of this time, I say, for once I should get some long overdue recognition for my role as a saviour of our nation. If it wasn’t for my engineered torture plans and coordinated extermination programs there would be more Muslims and dark people in this world. My plans saw that these numbers were reduced significantly. That idiot Dubya got the credit though. Hell, I want some credit too. That’s why I’m running for 2012 and Sarah Palin is going to be my gun toting vice lipstick slapping bitch. She gives me a stiffy, just like when I’m in my dungeon torturing some innocent sandni**er, ooh yeah!”
Cheney who has a fully equipped nuclear bunker under his house only surfaces in the night time to the level above ground.
“Dick lives in the bunker pretty much all the time and if he was to become president his bunker time may have to be thwarted some. He’s also got a fully equipped dungeon in one of the rooms down there and when I’m doing the knitting up here I get comforted by the screams of agony coming from there. I’m going to miss that once we move into the White House,” Mr Cheney’s wife, Lynne, told Fox News.
The Republicans are banking on the Dream Team winning the next election and are grooming Sarah Palin for the job of vice president.
“We’re teaching her basic geography, like where Russia is on a map, as well as little things like keeping her automatic rifle at home instead of walking the streets with it. She needs some constraint. I don’t think there is much cause for shooting moose in Washington DC, atleast not yet anyway. I think by 2012 she is going to be a force to be reckoned with,” Jamie Edwards, a senior GOP campaign advisor said.
Looks like the Dems have got a big fight on their hands because the Republicans are going to come back even stronger and are a force to be reckoned with.
“First thing I’m going to do when we come to power is order the arrest of David Letterman and the other people who made fun of me and my family. He better think about emigrating right now because he’s a dead man walking if he sticks around these shores. Hell, he can go back to Canada where he belongs,” a defiant Sarah Palin told the O’Reilly Factor on Monday.