Rottweiler Attacks Down for December

SCUNTHORPE - England - Statistics for the month of December suggest an easing off of Rottweiler attacks on the Chav populations in England and Wales.

The National Office of Statistics is studying data that suggests the frequent Rottweiler attacks on poor white low class unemployed people in England and Wales has decreased by a remarkable 0.8% for December 2007.

The fatalities and severe injuries sustained by attacking Rottweilers was a mere 345 for this month so far and the minor drop in maulings on Chavs is a cause for concern for other populations of the UK.

Thinning the herd

Rottweilers and Pitbulls are a breed of dog kept specifically by ‘Chavs’ and is nature’s way of keeping Chav population numbers at acceptable levels.

These guard dogs are not bred to be kept in a council flat or other restricted spaces, but need to be kept within large open spaces and to be trained adequately with plenty of exercise. It is no wonder that under the idiocy and ignorance of a Chav owner these dogs lose their minds.

Only Chavs are stupid enough to keep dangerous dogs like these in confined spaces and homes, with very little or no human contact. It is this profound stupidity that also ensures the Chav population is kept in check with daily maulings and fatalities.

Whether it is stabbings or shootings, poor diet and low quality lifestyle which ensures permanent early retirement for the Chav population of England and Wales, the added bonus of Rottweiler attacks also adds to the decrease in the Chav numbers.

Owning a Pitbull or Rottweiler is a badge of honour for Chavs, much like an ASBO or a conviction for GBH.


The increase in the Chav populations in the British Isles over the past ten to fifteen years has ensured a steady increase in attacks on their numbers by the dangerous dogs.

“There should not be a crack down on Rottweilers or Pitbulls by the Government. Breeders of dangerous dogs should be encouraged to carry on supplying these dogs to the Chav population,” John Humphreys of the League for the Preservation of Killer Dogs said from his kennels in Hertfordshire.

The increase of attacks on Chavs also relieves the burden on NHS resources and the benefits system as well as reducing policing costs. The resultant lessening tax burden is an additional bonus to the increase in Rottweiler dogs within Chav populations.

  • Bittenbyone

    In the US, 30 people per year die from (fatal) Rottweiler attacks. Many more serious injuries. It's not the dog breed that's the problem, it's the dog owners – that's the point! If these dogs are properly trained and socialised then they might become mellow and decidedly not vicious. By nature they were developed to guard sheep and families on farms from wolf attacks. Consequently, they are highly territorial and can easily become vicous if the start 'defending' their territory. So they need socialising properly and plenty and plenty of space to roam. These are facts not opinions. Cheers.

  • bart

    look guys most of your stuff is funny but in this one there’s not enough humour and too much propaganda. rottweilers are by nature mellow and decidedly not vicious unless you make them. it’s articles like these that give them a bad name- yet another strike against the entire breed and they didn’t even have to lift a paw. all for laughs, huh

  • Steve

    Three guys, a wheelchair bound man, a guy in a neck brace and a chav with a broken arm, are sat in a bar when Jesus walks in and sits down. They say to each other "Isn’t that Jesus?" and they all agree that it is him. So the wheelchair guy buys Jesus a drink and comes back to the table. The neck brace guy also buys him a drink, so does the Chav. So Jesus finishes his drinks, and goes up to the table. He comes up to the wheelchair guy and says "For your kindness, you are healed." Sure enough, the wheelchair guy gets out of his chair and walks out. He goes to the neck brace guy and says "For your kindness, you are healed." And the neck brace guy takes it off and strolls out. So he goes up to the chav, and he’s about to heal him, when the chav says:

    Don’t you fookin touch me, I’m on disability!