Alex Salmond Really Does Not Like the English

GLASGOW - Scotland - Former SNP leader, Alex Salmond has vowed to sabotage the elections in May if the Conservative gain a minority government.

“I try to like them but I can’t do anything else but hate them. That’s why I will do everything in my power, including using the Labour party as a traitorous pact to break up the country,” Mr. Salmond told the BBC on Tuesday.

When Alex Salmond was told that the Labour party is essentially an English political party he was nonetheless even more aggressive with his answer.

“Yeah, but they [the Labour party] do not have any policies that favour the English, or Britain. Look what they did in 1997 after the election. Brought economic misery and millions of immigrants from the poorest countries in the world into Britain who are all now on benefits. Gordon did a hatchet job on Britain’s gold reserves by selling them all off at the bottom of the market, and the rest is history, Britain is still trying to recover from the damage. Even Al Qaida couldn’t have damaged Britain as much.”