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Saturday, September 18, 2021
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New BBC Celebrity Retirement Home Unveiled

MANCHESTER - England - The BBC has unveiled a retirement home exclusively for its ageing presenters and key personnel, a spokesman for the broadcasting company revealed yesterday.

Labour Sends BBC Rottweiler After Boris

LONDON - England - The BBC's resident rottweiler Eddie Mair took a few chunks out of Boris Johnson's leg yesterday. The thing is who set up the grotesque show of ad hominem attacks on the London Mayor? Was it Labour or Cameron?

Millions of Britons Mourn Death of Ceefax

LONDON - England - Millions of Britons were today mourning the passing of a great national institution -- Ceefax.

Police Van Coming Around to the BBC on Monday to Round...

LONDON - England - After Jimmy Savile's child abuse revelations were finally made public recently, all male Radio 1 DJs and celebrity personalities still alive, who were key figures in the seventies and eighties, will be rounded up and taken from the BBC to Belmarsh prison, police investigators have revealed.

Clarkson Sentenced to Death by BBC Firing Squad

LONDON - England - Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson has been sentenced to death by a BBC sponsored vote and will be executed first thing on Monday morning.

Sarah Palin Takes Over From Michael Palin in BBC 'Pole to...

London - England - The Monty Python star, Michael Palin, is set to take early retirement from the ongoing 'Pole to Pole' series and be replaced by American politician and presidential hopeful, Sarah Palin, the BBC has announced.

Socialist BBC Deny Being Partial to Partiality

SALFORD - England - The BBC has been left reeling at the accusation that they are seen as being partial to partiality.

£1 million Earner Paxman to Join Marxist Commune

GRIMSDALE - England - Jeremy Paxman, presenter of the BBC's Newsnight, has vowed to join a Marxist commune in the country to prove his devout communist ant-capitalist credentials to the world.

BBC’s Andrew Marr to Receive ASBO

LONDON - England - Labour dignitaries at the Brighton conference were today jubilant that PM Gordon Brown and his evil henchman, Lord Mandy, had ordered the BBC offender, Andrew Marr be given an ASBO.

Impartial BBC to Fly Israeli Flag on News Broadcasts

LONDON - England - In an effort to remain 'impartial' the BBC is going to play the Israeli national anthem at every news broadcast. In a further bid for impartial reporting, the BBC news logo will be offset in front of an Israeli flag from now on, according to the head of news programming.

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