17.7 C
London
Saturday, October 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsTransgender Weightlifting Knight-ess Comes to Save Women's Olympics

Transgender Weightlifting Knight-ess Comes to Save Women’s Olympics

TOKYO - Japan - The women's Olympic weightlifting event will thankfully be saved by a New Zealand transgender woman.

Women always love it when a strapping knight in shining armour comes to save them, and the Olympics in Tokyo should be no exception. Due to their inherent bone structure, as well as biological muscle make-up, women compared to men cannot physically compare to male weightlifters, but that’s where transgender athletes come into the mix. Despite the male skeletal structure, and muscular strength that x and y chromosomes afford, Laurel Hubbard is now a female, New Zealand, weightlifter because she says she is, and there is nothing anyone can say otherwise.

Disgusting misgendering

“A woman protester came up to her and shouted that Hubbard was actually male and NOT a woman. Hubbard picked up the woman with her left hand, told her she was a woman just like she was, then tossed her 15 feet across the room,” one Olympic witness revealed.

Hubbard has been selected to compete in the +87 kg women’s weight division at the Tokyo Games on Monday night.

“I am saving women’s sport by competing to actually win against biological women. Women should be proud of me. So, you have puny arms, a mediocre skeletal system, little or no testosterone, and two x chromosomes. If it was not for me, New Zealand women would not be able to lift over 87 kg weights. You biological women should thank me for getting the gold medal tonight for you! Alternatively, I might deliberately lose tonight to make a point that I am just one of you,” Hubbard explained, flexing his huge muscles before the event.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!