17.7 C
London
Sunday, March 23, 2025
secret satire society
HomeSportsGUANABARA BAY: Brazil Olympic Sewage Event Highlights

GUANABARA BAY: Brazil Olympic Sewage Event Highlights

RIO DE JANEIRO - Brazil - Raw sewage continues to pour into Guanabara Bay in Rio which is hosting the Olympic triathlon, sailing and marathon swimming events at the Games.

ai

 

The Angolan sailing team got off to a fanciful start when one of their sailors fell overboard with his mouth open. During the rescue attempt he had swallowed three used tampons, a diarrhoea filled nappy, a used condom and a large floating turd which had just been flushed.

Igonumu Akata, 34, a three time bronze medallist was conscious when brought on board but sadly died ten seconds later.

The raw sewage pouring into Guanabara Bay where the triathlon, sailing and marathon swimming events are taking place contain so much bacteria that even mild skin contact can mean serious infection.

“If you swallow the water you die. It’s really that simple,” said Australian Olympic triathlon athlete, Miles Dunbarr. Unfortunately after making his comment he was found floating in the sewage lifeless.

Brazilian Olympic officials have downplayed the concern for the swimming and sailing events by simply ignoring there is a problem of raw sewage.

Jaeieo Baiaiaiaiae, said: “In Brazil we are used to swimming in raw sewage. Given time, these athletes will get used to it too. We drink and swim in the water, there is no problem. Eventually you get used to pissing out of your anus with projectile diarrhoea.”

So far on the first day of events, 34 athletes have died, and 120 are in intensive care.

 

  Help Support Independent Publishers

  PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
ai
- Advertisment -Pacospain.com

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!