The film set in modern day Britain will showcase the famous Royal Mail service that is responsible for the countries postal deliveries.

In the new film, which was filmed in a deserted postal depot in Walthamstow, East London, there are no stars or even cast.

“We’re going to be filming the sacks of post lying in the depot. Panoramic shots of unopened Christmas presents never delivered, and sack loads Christmas cards which were never delivered as well. The stars of the show will be the rats and mice who will be nibbling at the packages amongst the built up dust and cobwebs,” the film’s director, Mason Perdubero told the Mirror newspaper.

The film which will be released in late December will be in 3D and is said to be so engrossing that it may rival anything released by Titanic director James Cameron which will be released at the same time say movie pundits.

The Bristol based think tank commissioned by the Society for Research Statistics and Policy has stated that Gordon Brown has not only been “blinded by extreme power crazed politics” but is also “blind to the peoples wishes” and his “clunking fist of totalitarian control” has in effect “totally blinded him”.

Roger Magoo, a senior researcher for the Brown Stain think tank said this yesterday: “Some may say that we’ve had a blind bastard leading the country ever since the unelected coward shoehorned himself into the post, but we have to look into the fine detail of his iron fisted rule to see how utterly blind he really is. I’ve seen bats with more sight than Gordon. He may be blind to what is really going on in the country and he may be blinded by ultimate power of the people but can he see the writing on the wall this coming election? Is he blind to that as well?”

The unelected prime minister is so cowardly and reprehensible that he is now looking at strategies to get him off losing the only election he will ever participate in.

“Gordo’s looking to pull a sickie. He’s like the little kid who wants to get out of playing the Rugby game so he goes to matron and gets a sick note to show his PE teacher. He’s already done so much damage to the country and is not paying a blind bit of notice to what anyone thinks about his actions. In fact he’s so blind to the peoples feelings that if he was smacked in the face with a brick he’d thank the person who threw it and keep on gurning,” Mr Magoo added.

“This is an amazing honour. I am truly humbled for winning this prize for doing fuck all. What do I get when I actually do something?” the bemused man said before stepping onto Air Force One.

Could this be something to do with ‘Change’? In this case there has been none.

War is Peace

One of the judges who voted on the prize panel said: “This guy just turned up out of nowhere. Hell, he doesn’t even have a valid birth certificate, so we just thought we would give him a Nobel Peace Prize instead.”

The prize winner is over the moon and retired to the Oval room to twiddle his thumbs and put his feet up on the desk.

“He’s lazy. He sleeps all day and most of the night. He wakes up and orders six buckets of chicken, walks on water for a bit then goes back to fucking sleep. The boy’s done shit all for the country let alone for the world. Shucks, who they gonna give the prize to next? Dubya? He deserves it more than this guy, but he actually did something like murder millions of people in cold blood and bring America’s economy to its knees,” a Pentagon official told CBS news today.

“It’s like this, we’ve got some majorly rich G7 countries who are going to mingle with some slightly rich G20 countries and they in turn are going to mingle with the G54 lot. It’s going to be the party of the century and we’re making sure we have the right type and amount of canapés at the meeting,” Ashley Risburger, a representative of the G20 nations told the Financial Times.

With power shifting from the G7 and onto the G4, the G20 nations have sometimes felt underappreciated with the proceedings and are now pushing for the G54 contingent to muscle in as well.

“This is the first time all the G7, G20, G4 and G54 countries are meeting in one hall. We’re so excited but it’s going to be one heck of a meeting,” Sam Finklestein, a US eco lobbyist told Reuters.

There are plans to amalgamate all the G nations into one group of G240 countries but some diplomats say that this would mean that the meetings would be less frequent annually thus depriving delegates of gourmet meals and other goodies.

Larry Jenkem, who deals with International Monetary Policy, was today calling for a change of letter within the G nations.

“We want a different letter. Maybe we should move onto F countries. You know like F20 and F7. I think that actually sounds better than G,” Mr Jenkem exclaimed.

Some commentators on the G20, G7, G4 and G54 have however chosen to ignore all the suggestions because of the yawn inducing nature of the whole matter.

Tony Humbug, 49, an agitated British voter said: “F*cking hell, it’s enough to make you want to shave your eyeballs with a rusty razor. These G whatever meetings they’re always having. They just talk and talk and talk. Pamper themselves on booze, gourmet food and high class pr*stitutes then go back home to repeat the same thing next year. All the while, outside every meeting there are people causing bloody havoc with riots while these ponced up arseholes are blabbing away as if nothing’s going on. I’m sick of the whole bloody lot. Forget about G, I say it should be Zzzzz.”