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New Film: The Silencing of James Woods

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James Woods is a DS favourite. We love this guy, he is so gritty, he is such a real person, and the films he has starred in have always been like seriously added to by his own presence.

James, the sleazeball pimp in Casino, a short role but he played the part perfectly, James in Once Upon a Time in America, the Jewish hoodlum who grew up on the streets and died on them too, James in Salvador, the war photographer who witnesses the true horror…of war.

We could go on, but James Woods is the quintessential character who may be the bad guy in most of his roles, but he’s the conflicted bad guy, because he’s got a good side to him as well. That’s what makes James Woods for the Daily Squib staff, a highly respected actor and we feel that his latest film role reveals a world which we hope no one has to ever experience.

Erased

The film starts where James is a semi-retired actor living in a dystopian world where your every move is tracked, and anything you say can be censored by an extreme leftist authoritarian regime controlling all media and technology.

One day, the selfless actor puts something up on a social media site, and his account gets banned. Can you imagine that? A famous  but seriously under rated actor who has had so many successes in film being censored because he has different beliefs to the controlling group.

But this is the clincher. It’s not just happening to Woods, no, it’s happening to millions of voices, shut down and censored. Disappeared off the face of the planet, never to be seen again. This film depicts a miserable dystopian nightmare world of censorship, tech monopolies abusing their power, and worst of all, election meddling by silencing the views of one particular side of the political spectrum. Based in America, the dystopian world is an insufferable hell that Mr. James Woods is trapped in.

This creepy film really gave us the heebie jeebies. We can’t imagine a cold hard world worth living in that bad. Let us hope it never becomes a reality.

Will Mr. Woods ever break out and find freedom? The film, The Silencing of James Woods, will be released in October although only in one cinema in Alaska, and this could be cancelled at short notice.

Theresa May Plans to Win Over EU — By Dancing

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Theresa May is a desperate woman. Her awful Chequers Plan has not only been rejected by most parliamentarians but to cap it all off, by the EU.

This rejection has eaten into the heart of the PM, but she plans on a very cunning plan to win over her EU masters. Dance.

By simply going to Brussels with nothing but her best tap shoes, May plans on wowing the EU consigliere with her exquisitely crafted dance moves.

“It will be like a cross between Britain’s Got Talent and a funeral, although I have to say there is not much difference between those two choices. We are hoping that the EU master-baiters will be so enthralled and mesmerised by the snake like movements of Mrs May, they will forget about the intricacies of the Northern Irish border deal and accept her BRINO deal,” Chief Remoaner in charge of Brexit, Olly Robbins told the Daily Mirror on Friday.

 

Some of the suggested dancing styles could even involve something called ‘twerking’ which is an Afro-Caribbean dance wherein the female thrusts her rear into the air and jiggles it around.

“If Theresa May twerks in front of Juncker this could cause him to vomit out his liquid lunch. It would prove a valuable distraction and we could plonk on his desk a signed Brexit deal,” Robbins added.

If the EU Was a Girlfriend She Would Be a Bunny Boiler

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The anti-democratic EU is the equivalent of trying to leave a bunny boiler girlfriend.

We have seen over the last two years that every attempt to negotiate, to come to some mutual terms and to leave the EU is practically impossible.

What kind of deranged people are these, who will not allow a country to leave and relinquish its own sovereignty, its own laws, its own trade deals, and its own borders?

Democracy within Britain is a crucial and fundamental political ideology that ensures a just and free society that somehow is alien to the unelected officials in Brussels.

The UK is currently a prisoner to the EU and its restrictive diktats. Where 90% of the world’s countries exist outside the European Union, the UK is not being allowed out, instead it is being held captive by a federalist pseudo-Marxist union that has a serious democratic-deficit problem.

Breaking up is never easy in a relationship, but most are amicable. The few that are not, ultimately reveal the underlying personality of the person or entity that is the one who was rejected. The EU, in this case, is vindictive, plays nasty little games, and is completely without any honour, justice or democracy.

The EU is Glenn Close in the film ‘Fatal Attraction’, and its boiling so many bunnies right now, that anyone with any logic or reasoning power can see that the only way out is to cut the cord completely.

We must cut the cord, we must extricate ourselves and resume our sovereign right to rule ourselves as we have been doing for thousands of years. Britain’s rich history must not be tainted by becoming a vassal state, a mere zone for the EU, and its predominant cash cow.

Bunny boiler EU — Let Great Britain go so we can be…

Being Vulgar and Rude Considered Polite in Millennium

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The new study carried out by the ‘Social Unitary Corporational Kinetic’ study group in Chatham House, London studied metadata from over 350 million social network conversations, as well as daily face to face interactions over ten years. To be polite in the millennial era is now the same as being rude was during previous eras.

Data collected included all age groups, genders and race.

“Our findings reveal that because of the level of abuse and argumentative conversations we recorded on social media sites, that there was an obvious spill off into the physical world.

“In past decades, if a person went up to another and called them names, and denigrated their existence, or was rude and inconsiderate, this would have resulted in a possible physical fight, or a slap round the bonzer. Today, however, there is little or no repercussion when someone insults another online. For most, it is water off a ducks back, but it was still considered rude and impolite behaviour in normal social circles in past eras. Millennials however are more susceptible to triggering, our study found that they were easily ‘triggered’ and could turn abusive and nasty in milliseconds.

“We also ascertained that many of the variables included things like an obvious increase in population, mass unfettered migration and ultimately globalism.

“Globalism is a necessary economic and political construct and cannot be avoided in this day and age, however our study found that many people were inconsiderate to migrants online, yet offline if confronted by a migrant would generally keep their mouths shut, or leave the area as quickly as possible. These are the same people shouting about migrants online. Was this behaviour cowardice or something else? Well, our study concluded that many indigenous people in the West, when confronted with a migrant in real life, realise that the migrant is as human as they are.

“This dehumanising effect of the internet and the lack of reciprocation for ones actions thus enabled us to propose the theory that many who use the internet are cowards and bullies, and they are simply projecting their deepest fears and insecurities onto others, either separated by thousand of miles or within the same country or city.

“Certainly, within the last few decades, there has been a major shift in the preponderance to think in an individual manner as opposed to caring about any given group, as was generally prominent in the past.

“We further found a serious deterioration of polite social behaviour mainly due to the person’s internet usage. Time allocated to the internet distinctively correlated to how they behaved, from more time resulting in almost schizoid behaviour and perpetual impoliteness, to little time resulting in normal behaviour patterns and politeness. From a median sample, over 67% of participants were a bunch of real ‘arseholes’ and were not only rude online, but offline as well, 20% were simply cowards, and the remaining 13% deemed ‘fearful’.

“The centre of life for the millennial generation is now the phone. The cell phone is their existence, and this cut-off from reality is creating, not only rude people, but humans who cannot function without their phones. All in all, this is a very dangerous mix, when it comes to the evolutionary behaviour of the general population.

“Our study of the UK, found that British people are now considered rude, when in the past, they used to say ‘sorry’ a lot, and ‘thank you’ and ‘please sir, can I have some more’ that sort of thing. Today, however, the general attitude is to swear, tell someone to ‘F off!’ then get back to the internet and their social media site to pretty much do the same, which denotes a significant shift in public and private behaviour.

“Could this be a reason why Britain’s capital city is seeing so many stabbings and shootings? This is the question we will address next week.”

Big Stars to Attend Rupaul’s ‘When We All Don’t Vote’ Rally

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More information was released Tuesday about Rupaul’s voting rally in Las Vegas this weekend. The ‘When We All Don’t Vote’ will be held Sunday, Sept. 23 at Quandingo High School from 4 p.m.- 6 p.m.

The rally kicks off the National Week of Marxist Action which takes place Sept. 22 – 29th when socialist and communist supporting communities across the country, through the help and support of Soros funded volunteers, will host illegal non-voter registration events in cities large and small.

Rupaul recently launched ‘When We All Don’t Vote’ – a new national, partisan for-profit organisation, along with a number of other Co-Chairs including Karlos Marx, Chairman Mao, and Tom Hanks.

“Imma say this only once. Y’all don’t need to votes in the elections. Some of you aks me, why should I vote, and I answer. No reason to vote. Stay at home or across the border!” Rupaul said defiantly when introducing the rally.

The group’s mission is to not change the culture around voting for America’s socialist party and decrease participation in this and every election for the good of America

“Basically we’re targeting all the usual suspects to put it simply, just stay at home folks, it ain’t worth it,” spokeswoman for the project, Tina Lenin told Reuters.

Sunday’s event at Quandingo High School is not free and closed to the public. To sign up to not attend the rally, stay at home.

Theresa May: “I Am the Chequers Plan, and It is Me!”

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Current Prime Minister, Theresa May, has spoken out about the massive criticism of the Chequers plan she drafted along with German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

“This is a message to Boris, Jacob and all the other nitter natters who say my Chequers plan is not worth the paper it was drawn on.

“You cannot change my mind. I am Chequers and it is me. My superiors in Brussels have told me that I must keep to my guns, and put it through parliament whatever the cost, or I will be punished severely for messing that up, like all the other things I have messed up.

“I, as Prime Minister of Britain am confident that the Chequers plan is good, because it means we will keep all EU laws and regulations, and be subject to any future changes made by the EU.

“It is vital that it is in the interests of the EU to fashion its rules to benefit producers and manufacturers from the continent, which will thus supersede any UK company. Frankly, I think this is a good thing because UK manufacturers are shit.

“Suffice to say, by stringently following the EU rulebook, the UK will be impaired in creating sufficient worldwide trade deals or even negotiate. This is good by me as well, because Angela told me to write it, and I agree with her wholeheartedly.

“In addition to the above, the Chequers Plan will prevent the UK from including Mutual Recognition Agreements for goods in trade treaties and this will effectively destroy any chance of any deals with some of our biggest partners, like the USA and Australia.

“Yes, we will continue to be a Vichy government to the EU, and have little sovereign value, or democratic value, but I shall continue to lie to everyone by saying I have delivered Brexit as the ‘people’ wanted it. Those ‘people’ reside in Brussels and I have thus completed my job.

“You cannot oust me, because for a start, you are weak, a bunch of Brexiteer losers, and you also do not have the fashion sense I have. Boris and Jacob have all bleated to the press that it is not about me leaving the job of PM but of ditching Chequers. Well, I repeat once again, I am Chequers and it is me. I know you won’t dare to rebel against me, because I have the whole EU behind me, the Treasury, the BoE, the Lords, and my extreme left-wing friends the Labour Remoaners.

“Ta ta, losers. I won! Hammond, Gove and I will celebrate with a slap up meal of French scallops fished from UK waters by French trawlers at Mark Carney’s mansion on the eve of Brexit, which in reality is a BRINO, as we all very well know.”

Jacob Rees-Blogg – Episode One

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My new Internet blog because tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis.

I don’t dislike Europe. In fact, some of my closest friends own homes there. Indeed, I’ve just returned from a holiday on the continent, which was most agreeable.

There were, however, some key aspects which only served to confirm that we were absolutely right to Leave.

I’ve catalogued these oft overlooked facts below because, as anyone who went to a halfway decent school knows, ex factis jus oritur:

Exhibit A:

toilet
Le petit toilet, j’accuse!
  • The lavatories. This dreadful contraption proved to be hellishly awkward for Mrs Rees-Mogg, our six children, four domestics and myself to use. Without going into the unseemly details, how on earth are you meant to flush it? It’s safe to say I’ve not had as many unfortunate experiences with a loo since my first year at Eton, when I was bog-washed so frequently even my house master used to call me ‘Rees-Bog.’
  • It should be a source of pride that the Great British Toilet has been flushing away the competition since its conception by the ingenious Thomas Crapper (who my great, great grandfather blackballed for Whites membership due to his unfortunate association with WCs). It still remains a far more effective repository for human waste than this cruelly inefficient European device.

Exhibit B:

car france

  • Even in this day and age, Europeans still insist on driving on the wrong side of the road, despite it being considerably more dangerous. I always insist our driver, Stammers, drives in the way God intended, proudly and truly on the left (the only time I’ll ever be seen anywhere near the left, as I often joke to Mrs Rees-Mogg and Nanny!). Stammers cut his teeth in tanks during the Suez Crisis, so he knows a thing or two about driving under pressure. However, even he struggles to maintain an even temper with hot-blooded Europeans hurling unintelligible abuse at family Rees-Mogg, as they hurtle towards us in their perverse direction.
  • As I sat in the passenger seat, working my Rosary and chastising my blubbering children for failing to hold their nerve, I was reminded that we British are not programmed to go with the continental flow; that our resistance to Europe’s extraordinarily arrogant ‘highway code’ was a handy metaphor for Brexit itself.

Exhibit C: 

bathing

  • Just like average people, my six children, wife and I enjoy a sojourn to the beach whilst holidaying in Europe. However, since discovering their inexplicable scarcity to rent on the continent, we have taken to transporting our own bathing machine across the channel from Somerset on a specially constructed raft, thus ensuring my wife and daughter are able to join us boys for a swim.
  • We took no satisfaction in the green-eyed looks shot at us by other bathers, as our machine was hauled across the beach into the sea. In fact, my kind-hearted children, clad in billowing full length costumes, preferred to stay out of sight altogether to avoid provoking more envy.
  • Either way, the fact that these vital facilities are denied to people of less means is a source of genuine sorrow. In addition, by refusing females access to aquatic exercise and the invigorating effects of water, one is likely harming their reproductive potential. It’s inequality such as this that makes Europe the despicably backwards place it is. Shameful.

 

In one’s next Rees-Blogg

A long-standing acquaintance recently posted me a VHS tape of a television programme entitled “The Handmaid’s Tale”. It’s been a revelation, so I’ve decided to title my forthcoming Blogg: “Lessons from The Handmaid’s Tale”.

Cordially yours,
J.W. Rees-Mogg

 

Twitter @mrjoewade

Elite – The Best Game in Gaming History

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Anyone who grew up in the 1980s will know about a legendary game called Elite.

Those were the days of loading games with cassettes or massive floppy disks and waiting for minutes on end for it to load up. You would sit there in pure anticipation listening to the quirky garbled sounds of code going through the machine.

This time, of course, would give you a few moments to look through the Elite novel that came with the package, which was large and in-depth enough to encompass the enormity of the game itself.

Eventually, the game would load up and a big smile would come across your face. Yes, Commander Jameson is ready to start in his Cobra Mk IV.

The amazing thing about Elite, whether played on the BBC Micro, or Acorn Electron, was for those days in 1984, the game was vast. There were whole universes to explore, Thargoids to blow you up in Witch Space, and fortunes to be made in trading routes all crammed into 22k of memory. For a child, this opened up massive avenues, as you built everything up from nothing to equip your ship better, and to shoot down as many pirates as you could to increase your rank up to Elite.

The architects of this seminal game in gaming history were two Cambridge university undergraduate mathematicians. David Braben and Ian Bell, who somehow slapped multiple galaxies, ships, space stations, combat dynamics, and trading into an 8-bit computer. Written in assembly language and machine code, the coding had to be very succinct to fit everything into a few bytes.

At the time, wireframe games were exclusive to arcades, where you would have to plonk in your ten penny piece, but to have a wireframe game in your own home to play at leisure was a real kicker. If you weren’t hooked after your first docking at a Corialis station, then you were effectively dead behind the eyes.

 

Elite Dangerous

Turn to 2012 and a Kickstarter campaign to develop the mother of all versions for Elite, i.e. Elite Dangerous.

David Braben, was back and this time with new technology that would involve an immense jump into the year 3300.

For old hands, this was a dream come true, and to see the game come to life with a plethora of upgrades was astounding. Of course, with a game of this size, there had to be teething problems but the attention to detail, and mechanics incorporating actual elements of space travel was mind boggling.

400 billion star systems

Frontier Developments thus created a whole new world, where many dynamic elements, and strategy would give the player real impetus to succeed.

For beginners, you start off in a Sidewinder, and a little cash to get you going. That’s it, survive or die. You can progress multiple ways, either trading, combat, piracy, prospecting, exploring, or whatever system you can find that is out there. Opportunities always come up.

The Elite Dangerous universe is made up of many factions, so politics is a real game mechanic, and in additional game add-ons like Horizons, you can land on planets. Fitting out your ship with regular systems is not good enough, eventually you will have to endear yourself with an engineer, and for that you will need materials. Each engineer deals in different ship systems, so there is a seemingly never ending series of tasks to complete.

The thing about Elite Dangerous is that you need dedicated gamers to play it, because many who have no ability to concentrate, or have a low attention span give up easily. Elite is like real life, if you don’t stick to your guns, you don’t survive. Some say, there is a grind element to Elite, but this is what makes it so realistic. Unlike other games where rewards are dished out every minute, Elite takes years of playing. This is why it is possibly the best space game out there, or openworld game that has ever existed.

The Frontier Developments team are continuously bringing out new updates and patches, so the game as a whole grows, especially the following of the game, and the multiple forums and videos of how to do things in Elite Dangerous.

In 1984, it was fun to fly up behind a lumbering Anaconda and blast it to shreds with your Cobra, but in 2018, good luck mate. A Cobra up against a fully armed, and engineered Anaconda has no chance.

Anyway, the DS Team is off to a Haz Rez for some serious pew pew.

Amazon Workers to Have Wheels Embedded in Their Feet

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Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, does not do things in half measures.

The Amazon boss, not only planned to put employees in cages for warehouse work, but has gone one step further, by applying for a patent to have wheels surgically embedded into the soles of Amazon workers’ feet.

“Amazon has excelled in technical excellence and efficiency in its workers, however we feel the conversion rate of maximal productivity within the workforce can be increased by 350% when workers undergo the wheel procedure,” an Amazon spokesman revealed, Monday.

The detailed plan for surgical implantation of the wheels reveal that many of the employees will not have to actually think where to go. According to Amazon, it takes 6 seconds for an employee to look at a schedule and think about where they have to go to get a package. By shaving off six seconds on each pickup or drop, the company would save over $10 Billion per annum.

Powered by brushless motors, employees in Amazon warehouses will have the ability to travel at speeds of 26 MPH, depending on how urgent a package schedule is required. The speed and destination of the wheeled employee will also be strictly regulated, and the employee will not be able to control the device themselves.

Assuring warehouse staff, Bezos revealed that the surgical procedure will be painless, and will involve implanting the wheels into the soles of the feet with a microprocessor implant linked from the spine up into the brain.

“You won’t have to think, because the wheels will take you wherever we want and all you have to do is pickup or drop the product. The microprocessor is very powerful state of the art equipment and will guide each employee on what they have to do. Employees will not even have to wear shoes.”

Another bone of contention with Amazon bosses is the amount of toilet breaks an employee can have. This time lost is also deemed a loss in productivity, therefore each employee will be given special bags that will be fitted into their urinary tract, as well as rectum.

“You want to take a shit, or piss, just do it. You could be holding a Barbie doll for some little girl’s present but she won’t know you just took a walloping big shit, and pee at the same time. You just shaved off six minutes of productivity time lost and not only that, you can do it whilst travelling at 15 MPH.”

According to the Amazon schedule, the wheel implant codex will be implemented in January 2019, just in time for the post Christmas sales season.

 

Bank Governor Carney: “No Deal Brexit Locust Swarms, Hellfire, Rivers of Blood and House Price Crash”

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Canadian Remoaner Bank of England governor, Mark Carney, has warned of catastrophic events rivalling the apocalypse written about in the bible if there is a No Deal Brexit.

“On the day of No Deal Brexit, in the skies we will see four horsemen riding across the clouds, and trumpets sounding across the land, then a great fissure will open up stretching from Margate to Edinburgh. From this crack in the earth, lava shall pour out and then from the skies there shall be locusts, big fucking locusts, each the size of an Audi Quattro, and they shall descend onto the population and crops in their millions stripping Britain of everything valuable.

“Then on the second day of No Deal Brexit, a trumpet will sound from the heavens and lava will spew out of massive holes in the earth and cover the land in hellfire. There shall be rivers of blood as all of Britain’s rivers will fill up with…er..blood. And on that day, a volcano will emerge from the Houses of Parliament covering the area with black clouds and hot lava.

“On the third day of No Brexit, Britain’s population will realise their house prices are so low that they are now deemed worthless, that is if there are any people left alive, and the pestilence will have spread across the land killing and maiming the one’s still standing.

“On the fourth day…etc etc..”

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