17.7 C
London
Monday, March 30, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 163

Meghan Markle Cuts Ties With Royal Family Completely But Will Still Use Titles

2

According to the office of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex/Montecito, Meghan Markle will not be attending the coronation of King Charles III in a major snub to the royal family. Instead, she has sent Prince Harry as envoy to attend the coronation alone.

Royal commentators have come to the conclusion that this refusal to attend the coronation is the final nail in the coffin for Markle’s short jaunt with the royal family, as she has effectively cut the cord completely.

“It is doubtful that Markle will ever come to Britain again, and is now completely estranged from the British royal family. It may be a show of defiance by her, however in all reality she will continue to use the Duchess title to make money in America and continue to profit off her marriage to Prince Harry. In all instances, one could say she has the best of both worlds and will continue to coin it making millions off the royals whilst effectively rejecting them in reality,” a commentator revealed on Wednesday.

If King Charles had any guts he would have demoted these two freeloaders of any royal title a long time ago, however Charles has been extremely diplomatic considering the amount of vitriol and vindictive hatred directed to the Windsor clan by Harry and Meghan. The added disgusting usage of the royal titles to make millions of dollars is another insult, not only to the royal family, but the British people as a whole. Has Meghan ever been to Sussex? She probably could not even point to it on a map. It is a total insult to the people of Sussex to be represented by someone who detests the British people and royal family with such vehemence.

If there is any justice in this world, Harry and Meghan should be demoted to the nobodies they truly are, and should not be allowed to profit off their supposed ties to the British royal family or Britain. We have heard of taxation without representation, well, this is royalty without representation, and it makes a mockery of the British royal institution and people.

Hopefully, one day the American people fawning over this acrid stench of hypocrisy and exploitation will see through the shallow narcissistic facade of Meghan and Harry, two grifters skimming millions off ruthless and blind media executives who have no morals or a shred of dignity as they only see dollar signs as they market these two miscreants to gullible American audiences who do not understand royalty or know what it really is in any capacity or form.

Apparently the Dalai Lama Likes Young Boys?

0

Religious leadership and deviancy go hand in hand these days, as they were covered in past decades, these days of the internet and photography things are harder to cover up. Who knew it, the Dalai Lama is deviant who likes young boys? What about the current pope and those of the past, who knows what happens in the catacombs or papal rooms? It seems now there is no shame for these religious leaders, as every deviant action of the past is being normalised.

As the current ‘Luminati’ agenda is one of normalising deviancy, it should be no surprise that paedophilia will be the next strand of society to be normalised. The goal is to normalise things that were previously viewed as taboo or forbidden, and serve a purpose to kill traditional family units further.

“We have already killed off the family unit to some extent by indoctrinating women to work away from home and this effectively kills off the family unit to some degree, but it is not enough. We now educate young children and encourage them to indulge in sodomy and to hate their biological selves, resulting in body mutilation in the transexual industry. These are wonderful programs we have introduced to the brainwashed population and serves a firm purpose — depopulation. Along with declining global fertility, mass abortion industry and increase in cancers, the depopulation strategy we are employing will most certainly serve us well in the future,” a prominent member of the Collective revealed on Wednesday.

Normalisation, and demoralisation in many Western countries and developing nations is pretty much complete after decades of indoctrination from countries like China and Russia.

Normalisation is conducted via the use of corporate brands, media, educational institutions, celebrities, politicians and religious leaders championing formerly forbidden or taboo actions.

“When figures you have looked up to and praised in the past suddenly start conducting themselves in certain ways and brands that you may have trusted in the past say it’s okay to do this or that, then impressionable people see it as normal behaviour. The key is to conduct this operation globally and all at the same time and implement it within all points of society, especially the education system,” another officer of the Collective revealed.

Bud Light Marketing VP Transitioning to Become Homeless Bum

1

Bud Light tastes like piss water, but is a beer brand that was generally well-known in America amongst a predominantly male drinking group; that is, until Alissa Gordon Weinerscheisse decided to market the predominantly male orientated beer to a portion of the population only making up 0.007% — i.e. the trans community.

A graduate of Fharton business school, Weinerscheisse has been hailed in interviews as the first woman to ‘lead’ Bud Light in its 41-year history.

The brand VP was shoe-horned into the fray to supposedly increase sales and since her appointment, sales of Bud Light have dropped by over 90% and the company, Anheuser-Busch has lost over $6 billion in stock value. The reason for the drop in sales is that in a bid for supposed ‘inclusivity’ she thought using a gay man with a penis who thinks he is a woman prancing around embarrassingly in videos acting like a catatonic jerky rabid effeminate cissy trying to emulate a female badly would be good for sales.

BUD STOCK PRICE

This embarrassing woke fiasco is a sashaying f@ggot trans opera that has created a huge backlash and a rapid sales drop that is so precipitous it may even mean the loss of the brand completely.

Alissa Gordon Weinerscheisse has since deleted all her online profiles and is transitioning to be a homeless drug addict in Philadelphia’s Kensington Avenue.

“I am transitioning to become a homeless person. I now identify as a drugged up fuck who will probably overdose on Fentanyl mixed in with copious amounts of Xylazine imported fresh from China daily. The positive thing is that I will have loads of cans of Bud Light which I will be pushing around in a shopping cart with the rest of my belongings.”

VIRAL: TikTok Star Cooks Piece of Sh*t in Air Fryer

0

A savvy Aussie TikTok chef has shared how he prepared a homemade piece of shit for his family in his 5.7 litre Qmart air fryer.

Sharing the recipe to a popular Facebook group, the man revealed how he squatted over the air fryer releasing a large turd then added cooking sake, sesame oil, grated ginger and crushed garlic to marinate the poo pieces then tossed in flour and potato starch.

“There are several variations for this TikTok shit style recipe, this one uses bite sized poo pieces delicately shat out my arse,” he said online.

The $49 air fryer has been so popular among customers over the past few months it has sold out in hundreds of stores.

On Facebook, other TikTok home cooks were quick to comment on how tasty the meal looked.

“Looks amazing! Will try this, thank you,” one brain-dead woman said.

“I want an air fryer, but every time I go to Qmart they are sold out!” another lemming added.

Other social media users part of the Facebook group tagged friends and family members to share the recipe around further.

How to make a piece of shit in an air fryer

Ingredients:

1 turd

1/4 cup soy sauce

1/4 sake

1 teaspoon sesame oil

2 tablespoons grated ginger

3 garlic cloves crushed

Plain flour

Potato or corn starch

Earlier this month, an Australian dad known for making delicious and simple homemade meals went viral on TikTok after sharing how to cook up roadkill also in an air fryer.

Michael, from Melbourne, shared the video on June 3, and it has since been viewed more than 575,000 times.

He cooked five road killed wombats and a kangaroo for 16 minutes at 185 degrees Celsius in the air fryer after filling it with used motor oil.

As the classic meal is simple and easy to make, it generated an influx of comments from others who also post on the platform.

This is the kind of quality content that fills pages of the Daily Mail and TikTok every day.

Why Independent Thought is Feared by Woke Programmers

0

Every tyranny throughout history has feared those who think outside of the box, who have a mind of their own and formulate their own ideals. The woke fascists or soviets are a tyrannical totalitarian authority deemed above all, and their greatest fear is the idea that there are individuals who do not conform to woke programming, whether within the education system or in any other capacity.

Wokism hijacks the benevolent ideals of inclusion for its own ends, when in reality to be woke is actually a doctrine of exclusion and cancellation. It is a rabid sovietised doctrine of extremes, of black and white, where alternative theories and individual thought are viewed as a crime against its collectivist political doctrine rooted in Marxist political theory. The denizens at the top of the pyramid utilise social strands like race and gender to supposedly uphold a virtuous position, but what they are in fact doing is weaponising these societal strands for their own purposes, causing increased division, animosity and civil unrest. They clearly do not care one iota for the groups they champion, and are using these marginalised groups as pawns to affect complete control through public shaming of those who do not tow the line.

Individual independent thought by any person is thus punished by the woke programmers and controllers because it is an existential threat to woke political indoctrination. If anyone dares to fall out of line and voice their difference to the given woke diktats and ideological mass marketing of wokism, the individual is quickly removed from the arena. Only a few voices ever speak out, and it is very rare for anyone who is famous or a celebrity to speak out because they would be in danger of losing their contracts/sponsorships/jobs/livelihood.

In this respect, the woke have an entire army of soldiers aligned with their indoctrination policing the various air ways and all media formats for their woke lords. Much like soviet communist neighbours are encouraged to snitch on each other if they say anything against the state, the woke soldiers are the same, and will happily shop anyone who has an individual opinion or thought contrary to woke political ideology.

The eventual goal of woke culture is to program the entire population to become a hive mind where all individualism is snuffed out. From birth to death the hive mind of the woke soviet ideology will dictate what can be said, what can be thought, and what cannot be said.

Western civilisation built on free will, justice and individual innovation within a democratic construct of freedom of discussion will thus be lost forever as the Marxist woke indoctrination subverts and murders freedom of speech forever. As mentioned previously, wokism is the formation of a hive mind, and this hive mind cannot function in any capacity with free individual thought or speech.

The world is thus succumbing to the ideals of totalitarian political ideologies like communism and fascism blended into a singular point controlled by the darling of the WEF, UN and EU — China.

Could Dystopian World of ‘Children of Men’ Become Reality?

0

Phyllis Dorothy James, Baroness James of Holland Park, aka P.D. James wrote the book Children of Men in 1992, later made into a film in 2006.

The premise of the entire novel was a dystopian scenario envisaged where the human race loses its fertility, thus causing many global nations to collapse completely. The United Kingdom is the last nation on earth with some vestige of governmental control.

Fertility rates are indeed declining across the globe, but in Western nations the decline is accelerating at the highest level. Microplastics, chemicals, pollution all play a part in the decline of fertility, as well as societal and cultural reasons for a decline in the birth rate in the West and developed nations. For the last 70 years, birth rates have decreased worldwide, with a total 50% decline. Reasons include women’s empowerment in education and the workforce, lower child mortality and the increased cost of raising children, as well as greater access to contraception, leading to women choosing to have fewer children. The LGBTQP and Transexual agenda pushed on Western society is also a major contribution to the decline. Lower birth rates, coupled with increased life expectancies around the world, are creating an ageing population, which puts pressure on healthcare systems globally.

A study published on 15 November 2022 in the journal Human Reproduction Update, based on 153 estimates from men who were probably unaware of their fertility, suggests that the average sperm concentration fell from an estimated 101.2 m per ml to 49.0 m per ml between 1973 and 2018 – a drop of 51.6%. Total sperm counts fell by 62.3% during the same period. This study suggests that male fertility is continuing to decline at an exponential rate, and within the next 30–40 years the globe will most certainly see a total collapse in male fertility. Of course, science may find an answer like creating artificial sperm, however that method of creating life may also be severely flawed.

Alfonso Cuarón’s masterpiece film, in 2006, achieves the feeling of utter hopelessness humans may experience if they are effectively robbed of a future. When the playgrounds go silent, what is there left for humanity?

One point however was not addressed by P.D. James in her novel and that is artificial intelligence, because as the remaining human populace dies off, the elite may in today’s realm fall on the AI creations of the future to supplant the reduced human population. The elite would also have established life extension abilities as well as genetically modified offspring. In this sense, the elite would preserve, and even enhance their lifestyles despite the mass loss of the general population.

The most realistic point raised in Children of Men is that global chaos creates mass migratory panic. We are already seeing some of this as many from the world’s poorest and lawless nations seek to migrate any way they can to Britain. The daily Channel crossings by illegal migrants in rubber dinghies trafficked by ruthless criminals would get worse if there was a major global catastrophe, as people would flee to a supposed ‘safe haven’. The United Kingdom, a last bastion of civility, could lose its status of civility and be forced into a proto-fascist stance simply because it does not have the resources to either house or look after the massive migrant influx.

What is ultimately apparent is that whatever scenario materialises, we can see how fragile societies as a whole are, and that all it takes for collapse are a few variables altering or being removed entirely. Many people today are living pay cheque to pay cheque, and all it would take for them to lose everything is a month or so without income.

If water, electricity and gas were down for one week, there would be a mild collapse. If there was an indefinite period of loss of crucial utilities, total collapse would be ensured. God forbid, if the internet was down for three weeks, one can imagine how that scenario would play out.

In early times, it was easier to control a million people than to kill a million. Today, it is infinitely easier to kill a million people than to control a million.

Zbigniew Brzezinski

Harry and Meghan Plan on Wearing Silly Costumes to King Charles Coronation

2

Insiders within the Harry and Meghan circle are discussing a plan to disrupt and upstage King Charles III and Queen Camilla by wearing silly costumes during the King’s coronation ceremony at Westminster Abbey in May.

According to insiders, the pesky duo, who are a serious thorn in the side to The Firm, will appear from a pink carriage drawn by a set of South African wart hogs. When the carriage stops at Westminster Abbey, Harry and Meghan will alight from the carriages wearing their costumes and go to their seats on all fours whooping like hyenas.

The carriage holding the deranged couple is currently being shipped over from Coney Island, USA.

Artist Josh Neuhart, who designed the carriage spent over eight months painting and constructing the Harry and Meghan extravaganza.

“It’s absolutely fabulous, we have these garish LED lights all over the canopy, and the pièce de résistance is a group of massive spotlights and glitter bombs shooting off everywhere. Ejaculating over the crowds resplendently. During the procession, loudspeakers will hail the crowd with cheap pop music from Beyonce, and rapper Jay Z and a group of midgets will throw copies of Prince Harry’s new book into the baying British crowds.”

All of this will of course be filmed by a massive team of approximately 200 Netflix film crew following each moment as it happens.

If this does not upstage King Charles and his Queen, the Montecito couple will be shouting random Tourette’s style words out during the ceremony, as well as whistling and grunting like farm animals.

 

2013 Daily Squib Article Advised Government to Put Illegal Migrants On Offshore Barges

1

Eh, we don’t like to toot our own horn all the time, but we are the only ones who know what we write, or have written in the past. No one else gives a flying sideways fuck, apart from us, that is …

In 2013, we wrote this article: https://www.dailysquib.co.uk/world/3843-daily-squib-ten-step-plan-for-uk-economic-recovery.html

It was our 10-step guide to economic recovery, some of it tongue in cheek, some of it serious.

Look at number 5, and you will see Rishi Sunak’s ‘£50/day offshore ship plan‘ right there in plain writing.

Imagine the amount of billions of pounds the government could have saved if they had implemented the Daily Squib’s economic advice in 2013?

We asked our resident economic expert Professor Lewis Handlebarr, to give his solution to Britain’s economic malaise. He came up with a 10 point plan in less than five minutes. Please do tell us what you think of his suggestions.

Ten Simple Economic Points to Make Britain Great Once More

1) Dump all long-term benefits holders except for the severely disabled. Benefits should only be paid for 6 months, then cut off for life. This will also solve the benefit tourism problem.

2) Reduce VAT to 12% from the current stifling 20%. This will invigorate business and commerce to extreme levels and actually increase tax receipts for the government as people spend more.

3) Reduce taxation on fuel by 75%. Britain will get moving again.

4) Reduce the size of the NHS to a bare minimum and ban any foreigners from using it. Ban drunks and drug users from the NHS. Sack 90% of the NHS managers and recruit more nurses paying them proper wages.

5) Only allow UK immigration to people with jobs and income of over £35,000. Dump all foreign aid saving billions. Airlift all illegal immigrants, foreign criminals and benefit tourists out of the UK immediately and build offshore holding ships to house them before forced deportation.

6) Stop all housing benefit and do not encourage people who cannot afford children to breed. Pay people on benefits not to breed.

7) Reduce corporation tax, income tax, council tax, capital gains tax, and all the other taxes.

8) Get out of the EU. The rest of the world is out of the EU and they’re doing fine.

9) Reduce the BBC to the World Service and limited TV scheduling. Sack all the useless parasitic BBC managers and overpaid jackals ripping off the taxpayer. Reduce the BBC TV tax to £15/annum for everyone.

10) Bring manufacturing home, and start building, pay decent wages, and create jobs to make Britain Great once more.

Trump’s Only Crime Was Operating and Owning Property in New York

4

If you’re a Republican candidate or politician in any capacity; to operate and own multiple properties within a Democrat far-leftist city like New York is in itself asking for trouble. Trump should have known how vindictive prosecutors would dig through his dirty laundry looking for morsels to indict him. ‘Show me the man, and I’ll show you the crime’, was the mantra of Stalin’s Soviet Union, and the same quote was used by the corrupt racist DA who vowed to take Trump down.

Escape From New York

Never go to fucking New York city or state ever again. There is a reason in the timing of these indictments directly before the coming 2024 election. Where Democrats like Hillary Clinton were given free rein to get away with their crimes, including the myriad of corrupt business dealings of the Biden family. Crooked Joe Biden was even let off by the FBI for recently being caught with Top Secret documents in his home. Democrat politicians are given freedom to commit fraud or crime at a grand level without prosecution.

There is one rule for Democrats and another for Republicans in a Democrat held state. Multiple prosecutors and legislators dismissed the Trump indictment and did not see any cause to indict Trump, yet the race spurred DA of New York is out to get Trump for his own agenda.

Republicans should be weary about doing any form of business, or owning any property in Democrat held states, especially when these animals use weaponised Federal agencies and departments to politically attack their opponents to take them out before the elections. The law in a Democrat state cannot be trusted, and neither can any of the compromised agencies working for the far-left partisan corrupt officials.

Democrats who live in Republican states and cities are not bothered, because generally Republicans are not corrupt vindictive far-left communists who use federal agencies for political witch-hunts.

Trump is 39% ahead in the election polls currently, and rising. The rule of law in America is dead today.

TRUMP ARRESTED: If They Can Do This to Trump They Can Do it to Anyone

1

America is turning into the Soviet Union or some jumped up banana republic with a corrupt state weaponising government departments for political ends.

Americans, you need to stand up for your country right the fuck now!

Trying to take Trump down over a mild misdemeanour while people like Hunter Biden are caught smoking crack with alleged under-age prostitutes are protected by the FBI. The corrupt ruling class are afraid of Trump because he means justice for the American people.

In 2020 the Democrats took advantage of the Covid pandemic by stuffing every ballot box from Boston to Alaska.

America needs Trump now more than ever to stop this corrupt, rotten scum polluting the nation and BIG STATE.

God and Jesus Bless America! This is not just about Trump, but the entire USA!

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”

 

KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH