British Teens to be Cautioned for First Time Murder Offences

LONDON - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced new Labour laws to reduce violent crime in the British Isles. The breakthrough laws will also reduce police paperwork and increase efficiency within the law and enforcement sectors.

Crying Hillary Clinton Terrorises Supporters

EL PASO - Texas - There was terror and panic in El Paso when Hillary Clinton shed a tear on the podium after multiple losses to Barack Obama.

African Village Empty After Mass Celebrity Adoptions

UGANDA - Ondongo Tamba is the only person left in the village of Kkonkoma after a mass of celebrity adoptions.