Where to Find the Most Toxic Toys This Christmas

CHICAGO - IL - Looking for the ultimate high this Christmas? Don't worry folks, the Daily Squib has come to the rescue once again for an in depth guide on the best toy junkie highs this holiday season.

Disks Containing 25 Million Personal Records Found

LONDON - England - The disks containing the valuable information of 25 million child-benefit recipients was found today in a London High Street.

Britney Lost Virginity Late at 14

KENTWOOD - Louisiana - Britney Spears has been hit by allegations that she lost her virginity at the late age of 14. It is not customary for trailer trash in Louisiana to lose their virginity at such a late age.