EU Ban on Powerful Vacuum Cleaners Impacting on Perverts

LEEDS - England - The new EU ban on powerful vacuum cleaners is not just garnering the wrath of British housewives according to news reports, Britain's perverts are in a tiff as well.

Full scale riots and protests have erupted in some department stores over the new EU ban on powerful vacuum cleaners, the BBC reports.

A man who wished to remain anonymous but was filmed rioting in a BHS store in Leicester said: “We need these powerful vacuum cleaners. What business is it of the EU’s to restrict our enjoyment. The vacuum cleaners available now are just not up to the job.”

NHS staff were however said to be relieved by the new EU restrictions on vacuum cleaners.

“We get them in here regularly with vacuum cleaners stuck to their privates. It’s using up valuable NHS time and money trying to get these machines off their bodies,” one doctor revealed yesterday.

Meanwhile in Westminster, politicians were strangely quiet about the whole sordid affair.