17.7 C
London
Friday, March 20, 2026
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentPrince William Debuts New Hirsute Look

Prince William Debuts New Hirsute Look

KENSINGTON - England - Prince William reportedly forked out £180 for a Myspace cut after getting sick of being “teased by Prince Harry about going bald”, it has been reported.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

The hair was specially flown over from Norway, then hand stitched for eighteen hours before being plonked on the prince’s bonzer.

It is reported by palace officials that prince William was getting rather chuffed off with his ginger-haired brother, Harry, teasing him constantly about having a head that resembled a “testicle”.

Although Myspace emo haircuts died off in the early 2000’s, the prince has said to have an affinity with them.

Royal source, Matt Pugin, revealed that the prince always wanted that ‘Myspace emo look’ even though he is now a 35-year-old man with a family.

“It’s like he’s harking back to a time when things were more innocent and emo. I have heard the prince does cry a bit, especially if he is on nappy duty.”

Will the public royal duties be affected by such an audacious haircut?

“Certainly not. His Royal Highness, Prince William can have and wear anything he wants on his head, as long as it’s not a plastic tit or silly pink hat or something jokey like that,” Julian Miles De Vere, a close friend and adviser told news sources on Friday.

Palace officials last year advised the prince to wear an 18th century style wig to look even more royal, however Wills dismissed this as “ridiculous”.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH