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CIA Endorsing Jihadists in Syria Reveal 911 Secrets Say Experts

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Espionage experts at the Swiss Institute of Global Investigation are astounded at the similarities of jihadists controlled by America in the Syria conflict and events that occurred on September 11 2001.

Dr. Erasmus Faust, wrote in a recent journal: “It is a very simple and obvious observation. The CIA are training and funding Al Qaeda in Syria in a bid to overthrow Assad. This shows that certain agencies have no qualms with working with jihadists. How do you think 911 happened? That operation enabled public opinion to okay the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan. It is an impossibility that a small group of Arabs could have pulled off such an audacious operation without a vast, well oiled team behind them. 911 also served another very important purpose, it enabled the creation of Homeland Security in America and the destruction of all privacy, as well as introduction of mass surveillance on the public.”

There are also many other little clues that back up the obvious link between controlled ‘jihadist’ robots and a larger global picture.

“Many of the jihadists probably never know who is really pulling the strings or funding them as there are many tiers above them. When they are thinking they are doing Allah’s work and they will get 72 virgins after they die in glory, they are blinded by their simple belief system. If they knew the truth about who was really controlling them, whichever agency it was, CIA, Mossad or whatever, they may get second thoughts.”

PNAC

Since 2001 especially there have been many such instances of terrorist events being utilised by certain governments to introduce draconian laws inhibiting freedom. The UK witnessed their 911 event in 7/7, which immediately was the precursor for a total shutdown of privacy in the UK and an escalation of the Afghan war.

“Make the people fear and they will accept anything if you say it is for their own protection. The Hegelian Dialectic in action. Oh, and don’t forget, always have a government exercise playing in the background on the same day of the attack with a similar scenario to the attack. These both happened on 911 and 7/7.  Leaving religious paraphernalia behind on the scene as well as videos of confessions, selectively placed, always adds to the story. And there you have it, Syrian rebels funded by the CIA, 911 remote control planes and 7/7  detonations from underneath tube train carriages, why else would the holes created by the explosions have the metal from the undercarriage pushed upwards? These are small points pointing to an altogether larger picture. As for collateral damage, it is a small price to pay for a larger global conquest.”

If anyone has any doubts about 911, just watch George W. Bush in that class room. Any concerned leader who did not know about an attack on their country happening would have fled that classroom immediately once hearing about it. Instead, Bush chose to continue sitting down even after being informed by a theatrically obvious alibi agent.

Cui bono?

New Scatology Building Has Entire Floor Where Members Can Get ‘Super Toilet’ Skills

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The $195million Flag Building is a massive seven-story, 477,000-square-foot complex and the tallest building in Clearwater, which is the ‘spiritual headquarters’ of the 59-year-old Scatology religion. There is even a 175 foot high fully functioning toilet bowl on the roof of the monumental building as a dedication to the holy founder of the religion of Scatology, N. Ron Hubbub who sadly died in a terrible toilet accident when some Kretins dragged him screaming down a ceremonial toilet bowl over twenty years ago.

The opening of the building on Sunday will mark the first time Scatologists have had a space to receive ‘Super Toilet’ training – a program developed by the religion’s founder N Ron Hubbub in the 1970s.

“Super Poo Power is a series of spiritual counselling processes designed to give a person amazing butt powers, increase their pushing technique, exercise their bowl shooting skills, and greatly enhance other scatological abilities,” church spokesman Armitage Shanks said in a statement.

Hubbub went further in his description of the program saying: ‘Super Toilet is the answer to a sick, a dying and dead fecal movement…With it we literally revive the dead butt Kretins and Klingons.’

As part of that therapy, members will be spun on an anit-gravity toilet blindfolded to improve their ‘scatoptics’ – Hubbub’s 57 poo senses which include sight, smell, taste, blood circulation, and awareness of toilet function.

Another interesting feature of the building is the circular running toilet located on floor six.

Scatologists use the track for ‘Cause Resurgence Rundown’. Basically they run until they have a movement of enlightenment called ‘Scatission’. Once the diarrhoea starts flowing down the track, Scatologists know they have reached ‘Scatirvana’.

Roma Invasion Latest: You’ll Have to Watch Your Kids 24 Hrs a Day

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Not only will the National Health Service cease to exist after 2014, but the benefits system will have to be shut down when millions of Roma hungry for the spoils of Britain descend on the UK.

The most worrying factor in the new free roaming EU directive is the penchant for child snatching by the organised EU gangs who see the UK as easy prey.

“The Roma from Romania and Bulgaria love blond haired blue eyed white children and there will invariably be a vast increase in English kids going missing once they lay their grubby hands on our tiny over populated island. That’s why thanks to the EU, you’ll have to watch your kids 24/7 if you want to keep them. They especially love to hang around outside schools and once they take your child, that’s it, they’re just another statistic. Forget about the police, they’re unmanned and outstretched dealing with EU influx related crimes and traffic stops,” a Grimsby councillor told the BBC.

Some tips on looking after your children once the open door policy comes into full force in January 2014

1) Don’t ever let your kids out of the house without a trusted adult supervising them at all times.

2) Drive your kids everywhere. Do not let them get on public transport at all costs however old they are.

3) Give them mobile phones and tracking devices just in case you let them out of your sight for one second.

4) Playgrounds and parks are now off limits unless really necessary and you are watching them at all times.

5) Never be late to pick your children up from school. Even if they’re teenagers.

6) Don’t let your kids go on school trips.

7) Don’t let your kids play in the back garden unless supervised.

8) Children who do paper rounds are at risk from roaming EU gangs. In other words, no more paper round pocket money for your kids.

9) Install CCTV cameras around your home’s perimeter. This will also capture the crime and anti-social behaviour that will result from the massive influx.

10) Don’t vote for the Conservative or Labour party at the next election or ever again.

11) Oh, and Happy New Year

Toronto the Place to be if You Want to be a Mayor

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Drug addicts, gangsters, Mafiosi and all round bad eggs are flocking to the city of Toronto, Canada for a shot at becoming the Mayor of the city.

“You can do anything you want and not get fired. That’s a very appealing perk of the job. Not only that, you get paid for the job alongside the money you can make in any shady business of your choice,” Nicolo Gambino, a hit man from New Jersey, USA, told CNN.

Toronto’s current mayor, Rob Ford, is a fully fledged crack cocaine user who has a penchant for meth and extreme violence as well as degenerate sexual misconduct and he is a celebrated mayor of Toronto with not even a slap on the wrist for his behaviour.

London mayor, Boris Johnson recently voiced his approval for Ford in a BBC interview.

“I, I, you know how should one say this, I admire the man, he can get away with anything. Over here you get crucified for even having a little nooky on the side, or a load of illegitimate children whilst being married. It’s terribly taxing I tell you. The Romans and Torontonians would never have put up with such nit picking.”

Wrong Man Beheaded by Crazed Jihadist Team Wants Compensation

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“I just want my body back,” the beheaded man told an Al Qaeda affiliated news service in Syria.

The man is also demanding a full compensation package which could run into millions of Dinars if the case goes ahead.

For now, the man’s head is languishing in a fridge freezer and attempts to sew his head back onto his body have been unsuccessful.

Mahmoud Al Jizzeera, one of the rebels involved in the beheading explained how sorry the team were for chopping the head of the wrong man off.

“It was a mistake anyone could make. We were told to behead a man with a beard holding a gun and shouting Akbars every two seconds. Just take a look around,  you’d be hard pressed to find anyone else,” Mahmoud Al Qitira, another jihadist rebel leader exclaimed.”

Google Algorithm Caught Fighting With Yahoo Algorithm

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“We had to get some mediators in this morning when the fight spilled over onto the Microsoft Bing network,” a distraught Google engineer revealed today at 2pm (EST).

By late afternoon the chaos continued as the Yahoo algorithm started threatening the Google algorithm with misleading search answers.

Internet users on both search engines were getting odd and conflicting answers to their questions.

One user, Archibald Leftwick, 28, from Los Angeles wrote on his blog: “I was searching for the latest Obamacare news and asked the question, ‘Where can I get Obamacare?’ the answer Google gave caught me by surprise, it was just a single blank page with a gif of a tongue flapping at me. Then I went to Yahoo and searched for the same thing, all I got was a single sentence saying ‘Google is a big stinky poo and needs to douche’. That’s when I just gave up for the day.”

As for the daily Google doodle, that was changed by the Yahoo algorithm to a picture of the Yahoo logo, which infuriated many staunch Googlers worldwide.

As of writing, things have calmed down a little but engineers are still standing by just in case the algorithms start up again.

A Celebration of the Life of Prince Charles

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Tony Blair Brokers Deal to Speak in Philippines

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The two hour speech will net the former British prime minister an amazing $6,720,000, of which he will not give a penny to the dying and destitute Filipinos.

Blair’s operations manager said: “Tony will be safely enclosed within an air conditioned bullet proof see-through glass container where he will not smell the stench of rotting bodies or hear the awful cries of the dying children. He will talk for two hours about numerous subjects including little bits of knowledge on how multi-national banking corporations can squeeze more money out of the pockets of poor people, and how corporate greed actually helps the Third World. Once the speech ends, he will be whisked away to Manila to stay at the five star Hilton and enjoy lavish dining sessions with corrupt Filipino government officials. Cherie will not be there, so enough said about the nightly entertainment.”

Tony Blair’s itinerary has been quite full this month and he stands to gross over $62 million in untaxed income.

Russell Brand Talks About His Champagne Socialism

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Speaking at the Savoy hotel after another all night orgy with some slapper groupies he dug up from under a flyover in Hackney, the copiously rich former comedian went into full Russell mode in front of shocked guests in the tea room yesterday.

“Here, ‘ave you read my bookie wookie, it’s a Penguin classic? Na listen ‘ere I’ve had a paradigm shift in my perception. I’ve made a million or three from being a performing paradigm monkey, yeah, I’ve milked the system, I’m part of the banking culture myself. I did it all for money. It’s all about making money and shagging as many birds as the tiddler can take. But ooh, I’ve had a pang of socialist paradigm conscience innit. I was sipping champagne with my mate Ed Miliband in his 2.6 million pand mansion and it hit me in the f*cking face, my paradigm conscience wonshunce reared it’s ugly head, you know like a morning stiffy after a hard night sniffing coke from wads of freshly stacked paradigmous fifty pand notes straight from my bank account.”

By this time, Russell Brand was frothing at the mouth and shaking with anger such was the vitriol with which he delivered his empty soliloquy.

“This is why I’m going to give all my money to all the poor people innit. I’m going to go and live in an ashram somewhere in India and practice yoga all day long. Forget my positively heaving bank account the spoils of which I reaped from being a corporate whore. No more I tell you. And look at me, I am a pretender. I dress like a rock star thanks to my expensive stylist, but I can’t even play a single note on an instrument, it was all fake. My cocaine speaking style, at a thousand miles an hour, however is not fake. That is of course the only real thing about me.”

After his speech, Brand then took out an elastic band and wrapped it around his arm, gently teasing out a syringe from his jacket pocket he flicked the end, smiled then spiked a vein exhaling in relief, sighing in abject ecstasy. O how he has dreamed of this moment, he is back home once again.

Experts: World Entering New Feudal Era

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According to a team of globalisation experts at the Facilitative Unitive Central Kytomitonic Education Directorate, London, the world is entering a new era of feudal dictatorship through the use of austerity and removal of all privacy, freedom of speech, and total all encompassing mass surveillance.

“What we are seeing is an increasing distribution of wealth being repatriated incrementally every year towards the higher echelons. Through the tactical introduction of extreme austerity and  higher taxation on the land’s vassals, the feudal lords are increasing the velocity at which every single penny is stolen from the already near empty wallets of the plebeians,” senior research fellow, professor Rufus Templar, wrote in a recent analytical paper.

The professor added: “In the United States, the so-called Obamacare law is in fact an increased taxation on the population, and this cannot be disputed as American citizens are fined and given large penalties for not complying with the new draconian laws being forced upon them. The additional controlling factors towards the push for eventual feudalism are the scarcity of employment and limitation of food supplies on the peasantry as well as the forthcoming disarmament of previously armed citizens.

“The British people are however very used to the feudal system and heavy taxation as they have known it since the 9th century during the Middle Ages. The peasants take daily beatings from their masters like ducks take to water in Britain and happily endure any indignity foisted on them whilst smiling at their controllers.

“In the West there were predominantly only two eras, the feudal era and the capitalist era. September 11, 2001, was the signal at the beginning of the century that the capitalist era had ended and the elite banking system engineered a perpetual depression in 2008 to bring in a permanent state of austerity (poverty) on the world’s civilian population.

“The post-consumerist era will be an altogether different world where machines will supersede the capabilities of the previous human tax slaves. The false democracy espoused by Western nations was always a cover to stop any thoughts of revolution, but it is apparent that this form of consumerist led slavery is not working any more and as the curtain is drawn, the monsters of oppressive overt reality show their ugly faces to the blind masses. The machines will patrol and police as well as serve their lords as the human peasants did in the past, therefore that leaves the question, what to do with the remaining humans, who will not have food, not have shelter and not have the same employment under their previous masters in past history? That question can only be answered by time itself, as we are still in the early stages of austerity. The machines will also invariably replace the human soldiers and the police that are defending their masters now. It is apparent that these brainwashed pawns in an altogether larger game will be trampled upon and replaced as eagerly as the rest of the masses.”