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People Surprised by Facebook Pentagon Project?

People around the world were actually surprised that Facebook has been conducting data experiments on them for some time.

“Doh, I put all my info on there and say what I’m thinking, but I thought it was private. Then I read the Pentagon and DoD were controlling and funding the experiments. I’m really angry now, how could they? When I joined up I signed away all my rights but I didn’t know what I was doing. I can’t control myself I have no mind of my own or will, excuse me while I post my next update,” Dan Carmichael, 25, who is an avid Facebook user with over 10,000 ‘friends’, wrote on his Facebook page.

You would have thought that bears don’t defecate in the woods and the Pope was not Catholic.

Immigration Amnesty: “We’re Bringing Americans Gifts”

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“We got H1N1, Ebola, Dengue fever, rabies, scabies and don’t forget highly contagious tuberculosis. Name it, we got it, but it ain’t wrapped up like a present for the American people, it’s out there, spreading around as soon as we walk across the border and are greeted by cheering Americans,” a smiling Juan Martinez, 42, originally from Honduras told Californian news agencies in San Jose.

Call it the new North American Union, or what you will, thousands are being called across the borders, invited by the Obama administration.

“We need open borders in the United States for a very good reason, it’s about the America Dream. They come here, we give them homes, food and Obamacare. You are all welcome friends. Do not forget to tell all your families and bandito chums to come too. Mi Casa Su Casa. Let’s party!” House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi said at a recent Meet and Greet event at the Texan border.

All across America Tuesday, there were parties in the streets as Americans greeted their new friends with open arms where the Immigration Amnesty has been accepted wholeheartedly.

“I live in a nice neighbourhood that I worked my whole life to move into. I am so happy that a family of thirty five illegal immigrants moved into my back yard this morning and are defecating in the pool. My little grandchild, now has scabies. God bless America,” Niles Hertz, a retired lawyer from Bakersfield, California told CBS news.

People Tolerated Savile and Harris

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“In the case of Jimmy Savile, it is only too clear that this man was facilitated by elements within institutions in which he operated, namely the BBC and various NHS hospitals, charities, royal family, police. There were witnesses, and it is most certain the hierarchy knew about what he did, but as long as the veneer of celebrity and money kept pouring in, they did not lift a finger. Charities are full to the brim with these kind of people who profit off misery and evil, they use the guise of charity to hide their true selves, and earn a lot of money with their overinflated salaries handed over from the unsuspecting public. Rolf Harris, was not only facilitated and enabled by the TV executives, but by his own wife and daughter, who said nothing even though they knew all too well what was going on.

“There are most likely countless instances of celebrities from the 70s and 80s who should be in jail, but were allowed to continue their evil. It is not only the establishment that enables the evil on children to continue but the people who say nothing are just as culpable.

“Why wait until Savile was dead, and Harris is at the end of his life? This is purely a monetary decision by the establishment and money makers, they did not care what happened when these monsters were in their prime because financially it would have been a loss to the people benefiting.”

Question Tank: How Does Cheney Know Another 911 Coming?

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Forget about think tanks, how about a question tank?

The Question Tank, an independently funded question think tank sort of thing from Washington D.C. has a question that may lead to an answer somewhere. All you have to do is put two and two together, et voila.

Former Bush Vice President, Dick Cheney on a recent radio interview claimed that another 911 attack on America will happen soon. Well, in no uncertain terms, how the hell is he so sure?

Dr. Edelweiss Krantz, a chief researcher explains: “Dick Cheney knows another 911 will happen soon, because he has high access. That’s all we’re going to say about that. If one reads the Project For the New American Century published in 2000, Dick Cheney and his cohorts laid out their plans for U.S. global hegemony. The 90 page document is basically a lamentation of the lacklustre nature of the U.S. military at the time and outlined how the whole system needed a major overhaul financially as well as technically. Mentioning a ‘Pearl Harbor’ event on page 63, this event would give a tremendous boost to much needed post-Clinton military funding fast. Without the 911 attack in 2001, America would never have invaded Iraq or Afghanistan, that’s a hard fact and not a ‘conspiracy theory’. The question will always be, cui bono, i.e. who benefited from 911? It certainly was not any Arab/Muslim entity or nation. I think there lies the answer to the initial question.

Sacrifice

“Throughout history, there have been many such techniques utilised to go to war or instate inhibitive laws. In military academies throughout the world, and in intelligence agencies, this form of attack is an effective tool for rallying the people and increasing patriotic fervour, or bringing in further draconian laws on the indigenous populations. As for collateral damage, in every war, there are always civilian casualties, but the gains from Iraq’s oil fields would outnumber any American civilian losses, they’re just numbers to the hierarchy. Some 9/11 technical similarities are also very prevalent in the 7/7 attacks on Britain; which ultimately enabled security forces to bring in hugely inhibitive laws and a mass surveillance society blanketing the whole of the UK.

“How does this fit into the current position the globe is in now? Well, Dick Cheney said there will be another 911 attack, therefore, he has admitted within that statement alone that he knows that there will be another attack imminent. This will probably be the next necessary step in the perpetual war of terror, it may equal complete economic meltdown, thus letting the Fed off the hook. Hey, it wasn’t our fault, someone else did it. It is plainly obvious to many economists that the U.S. fiscal debt and liabilities are too high to ever pay off, there is only one way to solve that problem. Further reasons for another 911 style attack are too numerous to write here, but the benefits to the U.S. regime would be enormous.

“And there you have it, a brief analysis of the situation is clear to so many but the hypnotic shroud does not enable people to fathom the reality. Sometimes, you have to see the reality of the situation, however painful it is to your eyes, and your sensibilities. Now you know why not one fighter jet was scrambled on September 11, Why George W. Bush continued to read a children’s book in a class even when informed of the attack by an aide and why out of the fine dust of the twin towers, they magically found the intact passports of the ‘perpetrators’ of that self inflicted crime.

“Make your own decision, but to see the truth, one must understand that statecraft does not see anything else but numbers. You are nothing but a number, and to gain conquest, the people have to take a hit sometimes. Human life is a mere statistic to the core, your life is not worth much when military expenditure or oil conquest is involved in the mix. The stakes are a lot higher this time, so I am sure the engineers behind the scenes will make a good one of the next 911.”

Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event – like a new Pearl Harbor. Domestic politics and industrial policy will shape the pace and content of transformation as much as the requirements of current missions.
(Page 63, PNAC, 2000)

Cholera Norovirus Plays at Glastonbury

This time the band did not take to the stage but played in the mud.

“We wanted to play with the audience, you know right with them. It’s a lovely feeling in the mud, we get squishy right in there, and when they go back to their tents we go right there with them, we love it, this is what the music is all about,” lead singer, Gastro Enteritis told Melody Maker magazine.

Glastonbury revellers were today raving about the band’s amazing performance.

“Afterwards I went back to my muddy sodden tent and vomited into my mate’s sleeping bag for three hours solid, then when there was nothing left, the diarrhoea was streaming like the falls man, it was wicked. The beauty about this band is they come home with you too, and stay with you for months,” Alfie Munter, 23, a keen Glasto fan told the BBC.

Juncker: “We Tried Economic War, Mass Immigration War, and If That Does Not Work..”

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“Excuse me, (Juncker slurps a glass full to the brim of cognac) ah..better, where was I? Yes, yes, we tried to infiltrate your country economically, we tried to flood your country with EU immigrants to weaken you and reduce your national sovereign identity, we tried to.. (smacks lips then downs three quarters of the large glass in one go) ..you know, change your laws to benefit us, we may have to resort to real war soon mes enemies, because every underhand trick is barely working with you Britisher scheisse. I say this to you (burps loudly as a little vomit comes up) where are you going to run to from the might of the EU? You have nowhere to run to, we are united, you are not, we are also working with Scotland, and Ireland, soon you will not have a chance. You cannot run forever, your Cameron is just acting anyway, it’s not real, he wants EU on his terms, but he does not have the testiches to negotiate properly, he is a poor salesman, and a poor poker player, I poke you Britisher with an EU stick, and next time you will jump, (finishes the large glass of cognac, a man brings another one, this time filled with vodka) and our technique of reduction will have worked, your traitor Cameron will have to obey, you will comply or die.” After his little speech, Juncker burps with such ferocity, an olive is ejected from his throat and hits a cabinet across the room shattering the glass.

An EU army will be strong, united and well equipped, it will be separate from NATO.

The last step was always to be different to Hitler’s approach, because he chose military first, and that was an overt approach that did not work in the end, the EU is different, it has approached conquest through economic means first, then it utilised a technique of infiltration through mass immigration, culminating in the loss of sovereignty of the nation being attacked.

The EU military force will be a conscripted army, and this will bolster the forces for future incursions. The days of negotiations are nearly over, the unelected technocrats know that, and the time is nearing for a show of force that would have made Hitler proud, and how proud he would have been to see the EU today.

The cliffs of Dover may very well see another attack soon. What will Cameron, Blair, Miliband, the BBC and other traitors say then?

Juncker: British Houses of Parliament Will Be Made into Shopping Centre

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The ‘elected by the people’ EU president, Jean-Claude Juncker is proposing the Houses of Parliament be made into a  shopping centre, reminiscent of Brent Cross.

“It is with great pleasure, that as full power is aligned with Brussels, you English swine will have no need for your Houses of Parliament. The EU will instead demand you build a faceless concrete monstrosity over the ruins of Pugin and Barry’s masterpiece. Maybe you can have some of your former politicians scrubbing the toilets, we want them clean when we come over to spend our taxpayer expenses. Clean up my pisse, Cameron you snivelling batard!” Juncker said whilst sipping a jug of cognac.

Bank Teller Demands Man Hands Over Cash

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“Quick hand me the money,” said the bank teller, before grabbing approximately $350 from the man.

The distraught man handed over the money in fear of his life, and in resignation that he would not see his hard earned cash ever again.

Police were called to the bank, but officers were told that it was perfectly legal, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

“This has been happening for way too long and must be stopped,” another irate bank victim said before being arrested by the police.

The good news is nothing can be done, it’s all legal. Have a nice fucking day.

Gary Oldman to do Hollywood Tours

Ah, Gary Oldman, an actor’s actor, no doubt he has to do the odd mainstream twaddle to shore up his bank account, but he is a staunch favourite in the Squib office.

Well, Gary’s doing tours of Hollywood for VIPs these days mainly due to some Playboy interview, which inexcusably told the truth.

“I received a call Monday, or was it Tuesday, someone from the Daily Squid or something, they said I had won a Squib award, but since I made that painful apology it was sort of put on the back burner. They called me an arse for making an apology and grovelling. I told them to stick their award where the sun don’t shine, i.e. firmly up their jacksies. Funny thing is, don’t know how they got my number, ah never mind, but I told my agent Moshe Liebovitz, that if I get any more calls from the Squib, give the phone to me again and I will shout down that phone with all my rage,” Oldman told Hollywood Week magazine.

The actor went on to describe a typical tour: “I have this pent up anger, aaaaargh! This is why I use a megaphone in the bus, I put the megaphone directly onto someone’s ear and tell them what they are looking at. I want to see their ears bleed. Over there is Levi Saultzman’s house, he is a famous producer, then over there is the guy who produced some of my films, Aaron Fleischer, and this fucking house belongs to studio director, Eli Krantzenberger, and there is Steven Spielberg’s mansion, and in this street is the guy who runs the whole show, a very mysterious character, who I cannot name because he is Jewish, and look over there that studio is run by Golan Zucker, but lest we forget the owner of the last studio on the tour, yes it’s Elon Maskovi, he made one of the most memorable films last year, er, what was it again?”

And in appreciation of Mr Oldman’s wonderful style..

Juncker Wants to Bring Back Junkers Stukas For EU Luftwaffe

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First port of call for the new EU president Jean-Claude Juncker will be to bring back the infamous Junkers Stuka planes into service for the newly formed EU Luftwaffe.

The Stuka Ju 87 (Sturzkampfflugzeug) was a formidable dive bomber in World War II and was responsible for many Allied deaths.

“You could hear these things coming down, they made a horrific sound as they dive bombed us, releasing their bombs. Many of my mates were blown to smithereens by those nasty Stukas,” Reginald Mulworth, 93, who fought in the Normandy campaign told the BBC.

Incoming EU president, Jean-Claude Juncker’s next move is the solidification of an EU army, air force and navy.

“It is imperative that the Fourth Reich is unmatched in military power. This time when we invade Russia, we will do it properly. As for the schweinhunds in Großbritannien, zey don’t like me eh. Zey vill not like me even further when our big army makes zem obey our orders once and for all ven ve invade zem again. Zey vill once again hear the sound of ze doodlebugs and Stuka. Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Europäische Union!” Juncker told a meeting of EU military generals and financiers.