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EU: Add On Another £37 Billion Please You’re British

Tony Marston
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0
EU: Add On Another £37 Billion Please You’re British

David Cameron was today detailing the extra £37 billion the EU is asking Britain to pay, which does not include the measly £1.7 billion bill the EU ordered Britain to pay out of nowhere last month.

“Well, maths was not my key subject at school, however I have got Georgie boy to tot the numbers up. Hmm, let’s see, I think it’s 38.7 billion pounds now. I’d be delighted to write a cheque out on behalf of British taxpayers to the European Union for that small amount. We certainly do not need that money, we’ve got a surplus here, the NHS is doing very well and our welfare spending is tiny. We don’t have any road projects planned, or massive pot holes, we don’t have schools funding to deal with or housing problems,” Mr Cameron said from Number 10 Downing Street.

West Florissant Twinned With Rodeo Drive Say Fashionistas

Tony Marston
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0
West Florissant Twinned With Rodeo Drive Say Fashionistas

“It’s beautiful here lots of flashing lights and lovely people. They have bonfires everywhere, with the smell of Wagyu steaks roasting over the open fire, at least that’s what I thought it was. The shopping is on a level all on its own, I mean where in the hell can you go in America without a card or cash and come away with racks of stuff you will never need. I picked up a rack of hair brushes from a store and some fly spray, it’s just wonderful. Rodeo Drive eat your heart out, W. Florrisant Drive is where it’s at,” Shaquanda Smith, a fashionista from Beverly Hills, Los Angeles told Vogue magazine.

The Vogue article also cites the beautiful people who walk the streets of West Florissant, mostly after dark.

“Our visit was a joyous affair. Everywhere we met really handsome and beautiful people, all courteous and willing to smile. Like, they were all models, they were so beautiful they hid their features with hoodies, and I got me some new eye liner, look at this it’s black and blue, hurts like hell,” another fashion lover wrote in the Vogue article.

 

Peculiar Analyst: “Sometimes You Have to Treat Dogs Like Dogs”

Tony Marston
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0
Peculiar Analyst: “Sometimes You Have to Treat Dogs Like Dogs”

 

“Hi, I’m the peculiar analyst, been around for awhile, let’s just put it down to a few millennia. You know, one little thing I have noticed about today is no one knows their place any more. If everyone thinks they’re kings and queens with a voice, then all we have is useless chatter, to me it’s all meaningless and counter-productive, to put it lightly.

“Let’s look at the despots who were placed into position in the Middle East many years ago. Well, they were removed rather unceremoniously by the global boys and look at what we have now. It’s not very nice, what with all that war, Isis and such, but the dictators of the past kept the peace. Arabs need to have strong dictatorial leaders otherwise their beastly nature comes through.

“The same applies to our neck of the woods. Granted, the days of Downtown are gone, however this global stuff is rather irksome. Mixing all these people in a big bucket is injurious, not only for the people being mixed up but for the people mixing it up.

“Riots I hear you say? Naturally, there will be many, because rats do get rather agitated when they’re stuck in a cage piled on each other. More abortions would do the trick, give us all a rest from these cockroaches and rats piled on top of each other. How about a bit of Ebola or a Ferguson riot or twenty? Some people need to be told what to do all the time, they can’t function without it. Certainly, slavery is a necessary evil and hopefully one day we may move from covert back to overt.

“Oh everybody’s got a voice now. How endearing that is, because in my opinion, if everyone has a voice, then the music stops. It’s a classless system engineered where voices and opinions are not created by the hit makers but by the mass of people. There lies the difference, there is no quality control, it’s messy and to tell you the truth smells a bit but it keeps the hordes busy with entertainment. Their voice is their own prison, their own hell.

“You know, I long for the day when people quieten down a bit, a little more introspection would be nice. Where the troglodytes don’t have to vomit out every inane thought they have or take pictures of their tea posting it on twatter. I detest social media, it is a machine that was designed solely to fool people into thinking they had a voice, but we all know the truth now, it is simply an early warning system for the boys up top. There are no pubs any more to have a good listen, to see what the common man is thinking..or plotting.

“Anyway, until next time, fuck off you plebs and leave me to drink my glass filled with thoughts of utopia.”

Grand Jury: Darren Wilson Innocent Without Charge

Tony Marston
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22

 

The hero cop, Darren Wilson has been released after an incident with a man in August.

“He was only doing his job. This whole fiasco has been a farce at the expense of the taxpayer, and frankly I’m appalled,” a spokesman for someone said today.

The cost of the needless investigation is estimated to be over $34 million to the U.S. taxpayer and that’s not including lawyers fees.

“We just hope we can get on with our lives because no one needs to be dragged through the mud just for doing their job. Wilson deserves a medal for his composure and service to the nation, not a wacky court case show to appease some irrational idiots,” a man on the scene of the court told CNN.

Obama: “I’m Acting How Republicans Wish They Could Act”

Tony Marston
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1
Obama: “I’m Acting How Republicans Wish They Could Act”

President Barack Obama is simply doing what the Republicans wish they could do but are too caught up in petty things like the U.S. constitution, Congress and laws of the land.

“They wish they could do as I am doing now. I answer to no one. If I think of something I act on it with impunity and without legal counsel. You see my Republican cowards, you cannot touch me, I am not called Teflon Barry for nothing. Impeach me if you dare. Republicans stand for cowardice, ain’t that so Mr. Boehner?” the president taunted at a recent Immigration fund raising event.

The EU is Nazi Germany Backwards Say Historians

Tony Marston
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0
The EU is Nazi Germany Backwards Say Historians

The EU is doing things backwards, as they still hold the same strategy as Nazi Germany but are merely operating in a covert reverse fashion.

The violence and war will come towards the end of the EU’s life. Many nations which have been supposedly amalgamated into the EU entity have factions within their populations that may revolt in the future.

There is only so far the elastic band can be pulled before it snaps back, and the EU’s policy of disenfranchising millions of people within its prison borders will come back to haunt the unelected technocrats at the top of the pyramid.

One thing the EU has been very careful to hide is their plan to create an EU military force, which they will implement soon. Currently, most EU states reside under the auspices of NATO, however in the future there will be movement away from this, or a limited presence within NATO’s banner.

A dedicated EU military force will emerge to seal countries into the sovietized fascist system of control and power. Eventually, all previous nation states will be completely stripped of their sovereignty and will merely be known as sectors within the EU state. Nationalism to previous national entities will be made illegal and punished severely.

The EU claims to be a proponent of racial equality, whereas Nazi Germany was staunchly for racial purity. You may think there is some difference there however the Aryan superiority of the higher echelons and majority of the EU populations still stand today. The EU in the future will cleanse their remaining populations of undesirables and those not deemed worthy.

How does this tie in historically with Nazi Germany and France? The Russian problem has always irked Europe, Napoleon and Hitler attempted to conquer the Russian bear but failed miserably ultimately resulting in their demise. The EU has plans to infiltrate Russia, first economically then militarily. Already, we are seeing these plans coming into effect with economic sanctions and the engineered reduction of the global petroleum prices.

If you want to understand the strategy of the EU read a history book of Nazi Germany’s strategy from the last page.

George Osborne Mulling Over Ukip Defection

Tony Marston
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0
George Osborne Mulling Over Ukip Defection

After David Cameron’s Conservative party was spectacularly wrecked last night at the Rochester by-election, Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne is mulling over a Ukip defection himself.

“These days I’m fit as a fiddle and ready to go. The Tories seem to have lost their bite and are ineffectual. I’m frankly sick of Cameron’s pandering to the EU which is in my opinion holding back the UK. There is a vast world to trade with, and not just the failing entity of the EU. We need to broaden our horizons, make Britain Great once again and not just a sector of the European Communist Bloc,” Mr Osborne said, before being cut off when David Cameron walked into his room.

“Ready, steady, defect! ” This is the call from many Tories now, as for the Lib Dems, with 300 votes, they do not have a call any more, just a whimper will do there.

Obama: “Whitey Was an Immigrant Once Too”

Tony Marston
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11
Obama: “Whitey Was an Immigrant Once Too”

“Thas right folks, all ya’ll whitey were immigrants to North America once and you systematically conducted a program of genocide on Native Americans killing millions, but don’t let that make you feel bad it was only hundreds of years back huh,” President Obama told an immigration hearing set up by the Republicans.

America’s opposition party have been somewhat caught out in the headlights, having gained control over congress they still find themselves ineffectual and impotent as the Democrat president moves ahead with another executive order.

Open Doors

One of the president’s aides, Ungawa Mkosu, had this to say about allowing the first tranche of 5 million illegals into the U.S.

“First we’re going to let in 5 million this month, then after that it’s a message to some of the poorest nations in South America to come on over. Your people have hope, America, the land of opportunity is also yours, built up, ready to use. You won’t have to live in slums any more, Americans will welcome you into their mansions, the streets are paved with gold, if you have a medical problem you will be cured in some of the best hospitals in the world — for free. We will give you food, housing and jobs. You want to work, many Americans are too lazy, they have been entertained to the point of being obsolete, so you will take their place. America has opened its doors, Obama be praised, not just from South America, you can come from Africa, India, China, anywhere.”

The dreamers have awakened, the gift bestowed on them by Barack Hussein Obama beckons.

Now is the time to act. America is everyone’s land now.

Antoine Dodson: “Bill Cosby We Gon’ Find You”

Tony Marston
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0
Antoine Dodson: “Bill Cosby We Gon’ Find You”

The Dodsons, residents of the Lincoln Park housing project in Huntsville, Alabama, may be getting closer to an unsolved attempted crime in 2010.

Millions of people worldwide may recall the incident which occurred in 2010 and became a world renowned internet sensation.

“I got an inkling who did it now. I always wondered why there was a signed DVD box set and t-shirt of the Bill Cosby show left behind in ma sister’s bedroom. Y’all been reading the news lately? Well, looks like we got him. Bill, if you watchin’ this, we gon find you, there’s nowhere to run, he’s climbin’ in your windows, he’s snatchin’ your people up, trina rape ’em, so you need to, hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo kids, hide yo wife…” Antoine Dodson, told ABC news.

 

Lena Dunham Playboy Spread Goes Viral

Tony Marston
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1
Lena Dunham Playboy Spread Goes Viral

 

“It was great, I got to meet all the bunnies and we showed each other our spreads. My young sister was not with me so I couldn’t do my usual exploratory spread check, besides I’m older and not so young any more. You see if you’re a liberal feminist you can get away with anything, like normal laws or societal morals don’t apply to us,” Lena Dunham recalled.

The actress and author even took time out to meet Playboy’s grandmaster, Hugh Hefner.

“He’s a great guy. He actually told me he was a feminist himself and displayed his trophy wife who is a very mature 23 years old. It was okay because he gave her five bucks and told her to itch his scrotum. Getting old is hard ya know, that thing hung down like an old leather bag and was touching his slippers. When I get old I want to be like Hugh Hefner, he’s the real deal. Feminism is great because we get to pick and choose what we want, like we don’t really want to do things like getting punched in the face by guys, even though that’s what men do to each other, equality means we get other men to punch other men in the face, or we can punch men in the face with no repercussions. I would actually get annoyed if a man did not open a door for me or treat me with respect. Yeah, so what if all the bridges, skyscrapers, massive engineering feats  throughout all of history were created by males? Us feminists walk across bridges, but we don’t care to talk about cantilever span or lamellar structure, that shit bores me to tears, I’d rather eat a cake and talk about makeup. Last I checked I was a woman, and so is my sister. Ho hum.”

Lena Dunham’s new book ‘Playboy Feminism’ is out now not in all good book shops.

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