As Juncker downs another breakfast pint of cognac, he will naturally half pick up a newspaper schlepped on his tray by his servant, and through his sozzled, blurred eyes make out some headlines here or there. Yes, the bargaining chips are out, the Britishers are threatening Brexit and what’s more, they are making it look rather serious this time.

This Cameron fellow, what, what? He wins an election and he means business. On the one hand, the Grexit looms as the Greeks blackmail the Schäubles out of Frankfurt, and the Brits, who have successfully avoided another Marxist Labour government have taken the reins of their own destiny.

The facts are this, there is no free will in the EU. There is no sovereign control over a nation’s respective economy. If the UK embraced its Commonwealth past, and opened the doors to global trade, it could still exist within the European trade area but set free on a worldwide stage and be free to make its own laws.

What the EU wants is a very simple thing. It wants the British to seal their own doom by voting to stay in the EU, and by doing this, the Brits will eventually be integrated into the eurozone currency, ditching the Pound Sterling and becoming a placid zone controlled by others and essentially irrelevant.

Bargaining is a game best played with a good hand, and Britain has a good hand to play, whereas the EU is a crumbling chaotic Grexiting edifice stuffed with over paid seemingly useless unelected officials with unlimited perks, bribes and free gourmet luncheons.

Juncker, his hands now shaking as another jug of cognac is placed on his tray, wants an EU army, and when it comes to war with whoever he chooses, he wants your sons and daughters to be drafted into the EU army. Smiling, Juncker drinks from the jug, remembering his youth in the Hitler Jugend, those were the days, one Reich, Ein Volk.

Reform the EU? Nein, nein, nein! That is out of the question. Ratification by 28 nations, controlled heavily from one central control point, is an impossibility. There is no free will in the EU, you only do as you are told.

As for Cameron, he still wants to stay in the EU, for the sake of business, however, freedom would bring even more business, because to conduct big deals, you cannot have shackles upon your person, and ridiculous EU diktats thwarting your every move; bogged down in red tape and bureaucratic nonsense.

The whole thing could go tits up anyway, as the SNP have infiltrated parliament and are now threatening MPs with head butts and wedgies if they don’t get their way.

And what of the EU immigrants, hundreds of thousands streaming across the channel daily into the tiny island of Britain? Well, if you are pro-EU, prepare to not have an NHS in a few years, prepare to not have a place for your child in your local school, prepare to sit in your car for hours in the traffic hell, prepare to wait at the bus stops for hours as the fifth loaded bus drives past, and the fucking underground? Forget about it, the underground will be a thing of the past, because the mass of people in the tunnels will become a hazard, a danger to public safety.

There is no room left.