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Arsenal – Dare to Dream of November

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Arsenal – Dare to Dream of November

But, if the past as told us anything the gunners will be wrapping-up their season by November.

As Charlie Eccelshare, writing for the Daily Telegraph says “As the clocks go backwards at
the end of October each year, so invariably do Arsenal.”

But why? When historically their best months are September and October, do the gunners
never seem to make it unscathed past that all important November?

Don’t run so fast, you might fall down

As October draws to a close, you can imagine the mums and grandmas of our favourite
football heroes sitting them down for a good talking to.

Think about last year’s’ injuries in November alone, including Oxlade-Chamberlain,
Wilshere, Ramsey, Rosicky, Walcott, Arteta and Ospina. This led to Per Mertesacker calling
the team “a bit knackered” after they struggled into a draw against Spurs. In the last 10
seasons, they have suffered no fewer than 80 – yes 80 November injuries. You can see why
their parents might be wishing they had joined the chess club at this point in time.

Don’t look directly at them

Let’s call a spade a spade, the other reason why November is a cursed month for those
Arsenal boys, is that they keep being put up against, er… better teams. Y’know, the ones
who seem to win the league every year. Whether it’s Chelsea, Man City or Man United,
Spurs or Liverpool, these all seem to come up in November, and they just can’t seem to
hack it.

FOOT2.0

In the last ten years, aside from the 2011 season, they have faced one of these teams in
November without exception. In 2011, their points per game hit a November high of 2.33, in comparison to their usual November average of 1.59.

With all this info at hand, it’s probably a bit worrying that this November sees them facing
Manchester United, Tottenham, and Manchester City. I certainly won’t be whipping out my phone and using my sky bet android app to bet against the odds.

It’s too late for 2017, but maybe they can request to go up against some really bad teams for November 2018, that should sort that darned curse out once and for all. “Hello, Sunderland? It’s Arsene Wenger here. Small favour to ask…”

2017 Season

But all jokes aside, the real question is, can Arsenal keep their head above water this
November to remain serious contenders for the Premier League? Or are they doomed to
keep repeating the same mistakes?

If Arsenal have any chance to do something different they have to keep Alexis Sanchez
happy but after missing the first game with Leicester with an abdominal strain, and the
rumours circling that he is not long with the team, it doesn’t look great. That, coupled with
the seasons low projections for them, estimating that they will do at best fourth, encourages fans to lose support from the get-go.

It’s going to be an uphill climb for our boys in red and white, and at this point, it would be a huge surprise if they managed to pull a brilliant November out of the bag. But hey, who
doesn’t love surprises?

Dunkirk: Triggered Feminist Wants More Women Fighting in WW2 Films

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Dunkirk: Triggered Feminist Wants More Women Fighting in WW2 Films

“My main issue with Dunkirk is that it’s so clearly designed for men to man-out over,” Mehantara Boner, who writes in some woman’s magazine whines, adding, “The packaging of the film, the general vibe, and the tenor of the people applauding it just screams “men-only”.

In her staunch feminist article, Boner has called for all World War II films to import women fighting in the front lines to show equality.

Although this would not be historically accurate, the writer says that having “female platoons in Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal and Dunkirk, would make the films more accessible to women, instead of just showing men fighting and being male-like”.

Even though millions of men sacrificed their lives in both world wars, this is not enough for modern feminists who become triggered by images of men fighting on boats and beaches.

“Like look at Saving Private Ryan. Spielberg should have put Scarlett Johannsen somersaulting out of the landing craft on D-Day, dodging bullets whilst shooting thousands of Germans in their parapets, then helping male soldiers with their wounds simultaneously laying down suppressing fire all the while applying another pristine lacquer polish to her nails as she brings out the bangalores.”

“Dunkirk felt like an excuse for men to celebrate maleness—which apparently they don’t get to do enough. Fine, great, go forth, but if Nolan’s entire purpose is breaking the established war movie mold and doing something different—why not make a movie about women in World War II?” Boner continues whining.

“What about the Pacific, in the jungles, they were all male soldiers fighting and in the films, that is all you see. Why could the directors not put in female role models onto the battle scenes with the Japs? Again, we could see Wonder Woman characters jumping into battle as bullets cut down the men. The females would of course, be immune to bullets and karate kick their way through whole Japanese platoons with not so much of a sweat.”

For feminists, the hatred of men is so great that they cannot even stand the thought of seeing the sight of male sacrifice on the battlefield.

This is what men have done for centuries, yet the modern feminist is disgusted by this, they do not understand that if it were not for these brave young men fighting and sacrificing themselves on the beaches and in the jungles for the Allies these women would probably not have the freedom to write their claptrap anti-male clickbait nonsense today.

It would be a beautiful and just day to see how these feminists would cope in such a hostile battlefield, on Omaha beach, on Peleliu island, as the bullets whiz around them, and the bombs rip bodies apart. To see your buddies legs blown off in front of you, the blood soaked sand, slipping on entrails and blown out brains. It is most certain they would not last three seconds in a real battlefield scenario.

AA Chief Falls Off Cliff

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AA Chief Falls Off Cliff

Mr Mackenzie held the roles of chief executive and chairman at the London-listed roadside assistance company.

“We fired him for gross misconduct. We found him wandering the halls of the main HQ building only in his underpants with a woman’s bra over his head talking about the ‘Jibbly Jabbly Doo’s’. He then ran into the cafeteria and forcibly took one of our dinner ladies, Irene, 74, by the hand and started dancing with her on top of the counter. After that traumatic scene, Mr Mackenzie, still talking gibberish, did not realise his scrotum was dangling below his underpants entered the boardroom where executives were hashing out an important deal with Chinese investors. The Chinese investors who were attending the meeting were not at all happy when Mackenzie picked up two pens pretending they were chopsticks, and with squinty eyes started talking about ‘Fu Manchu’ and ordering a ‘numbah 42’ as well as a ‘special flied lice’,” Chairman Steve Burrows told the Financial Times.

Shares in AA fell by 37.7 per cent to a record low of 132p following the news. The precipitous fall of AA shares looks like a cliff face, and today it just kept on dropping and dropping.

Shark Week: Michael Phelps Loses Both Legs to Great White

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Shark Week: Michael Phelps Loses Both Legs to Great White

“We boated out to Cancun, Mexico and dropped loads of chum in the water to attract some Great Whites. In about five minutes, we had a 26 foot long Great White shark swimming around the boat,” series producer, Mikey Voss, told the NY Post.

What was meant to be a 100 metre race with a genuine Great White shark then turned to disaster.

“Michael Phelps got on the start line and the shark was approximately three metres behind, so Phelps actually got a head start. He dived in the water and started swimming. At first, the Great White shark did nothing, then when Phelps was half way through the race, it kicked in and drew up behind him,” Voss added.

As the Shark Week organisers and experts desperately tried to make the shark veer to the left of Phelps instead of following him, disaster struck.

“Phelps was dragged under the water and we heard a blood curdling scream. You actually heard the crunching sound as the Great White bit down. We filmed everything, even the part when the shark’s eyes glaze over as it attacks,” cameraman, John Weiss, revealed.

The Shark Week episode will be aired in September, however some parts will be excluded due to the nature of the content.

Michael Phelps, who lost both legs above the knee in the attack, is still recovering. He says that he will resume his swimming career and compete in the Paralympics.

“I’m just happy, Shark Week fans eventually got the footage they wanted,” Phelps said from his hospital bed.

INSIGHT: Healthcare in the USA

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INSIGHT: Healthcare in the USA

According to reports from the USA, if you get severely ill and are hospitalised, you have to pay for the treatment.

For long recurring medical conditions, this can mean whole families can have their lives ruined financially ending up in the loss of their homes, as well as their lives.

HOW HEALTHCARE WORKS IN AMERICA

a) To afford to pay for healthcare private insurance, you have to have a high paying job to pay the large monthly costs and premiums.

b) If you do not have healthcare insurance and get sick, you are shit out of luck from receiving premium treatment and are usually referred to low tier medicare which has a very long waiting list. However, you can turn up at a proper hospital and demand treatment, the hospital will usually treat you then give you a large bill at the end of your visit, bankrupting you.

c) A normal treatment at a hospital which would cost you nothing in the UK, will cost Americans over $64,000. For protracted treatment, it can go up to the millions.

d) Most health insurance in America does not pay for certain illnesses, so unless you take the time to read the small print (which insurers can change at any time) then you will have to pay the full cost of treatment regardless of the fact that you pay full whack for insurance.

e) Don’t forget the fact that when you have health insurance and receive treatment you have to also pay an extra cost as a deductible. This sum can be quite large depending on the treatment cost and the insurers whim.

f) Apart from the threat of losing your home if you get sick in America, there’s the additional threat of losing your healthcare if you lose your job. The amount of stress this causes most Americans actually makes them sick, which is in the long run good for the medical and health insurance business.

g) According to the United States Census Bureau, in 2012 there were 48.0 million people in the US (15.4% of the population) who were without health insurance.

h) Some Americans deliberately commit crimes so they can go to prison and receive free healthcare.

i) If you are from outside the US, and travelling in the country you must make sure you have the correct travel insurance. If not, and you get sick, you will be stuck in the USA indefinitely until you pay off your vast hospital bills.

j) None of the above relates to the NHS in the UK as all treatment is free.

Prince Harry and William: “Let’s Open Up Another Can of Worms From Years Ago”

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Prince Harry and William: “Let’s Open Up Another Can of Worms From Years Ago”

Yes, it’s good to talk in this millennial age, where people are urged to talk about their deepest anxieties, their deepest secrets, and their most vulnerable thoughts, but is it conducive to a royal family member to do such a thing? One must remember that the royals have a multitude of enemies lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on the tiniest crack or tiniest of vulnerabilities to be exploited.

Prince Harry, not the brainiest chap in the world wants to tell everyone about his mental issues, especially regarding the death of his mama, and then comes Prince William later on saying a few words here or there about his issues, however what may have been an innocent looking confession will now come back as a large bite.

Already the gutter press are getting ready to post those ‘lost’ Diana tapes where she speaks to her voice coach. The people posting the videos are citing Harry and William’s need to talk as the reason for them dredging up this soon to be money making video. The damage to the royals will thus be another plunging knife into the monarchy and its rotting sarcophagus.

Pont d’Alma Temple de Diana

If Harry and Wills knew the truth, of which they must suspect, about how their mother was dispatched, they would nonetheless be not so keen to air their dirty laundry in front of everyone.

Diane_de_Versailles_Leochares

We will never know why all traffic cameras were mysteriously switched off in Paris on the night of Diana’s death, and why she was kept in the tunnel where the crash occurred for over three hours whilst the hospital was less than a mile away. As for the driver, who was an MI6 asset, we will never know why he slammed the car into a pillar or any other detail research theorists have dredged up.

The fact that Diana was to marry a Muslim Egyptian and was pregnant with Dodi Fayed’s child will not be revealed any time soon either. How could the Windsors ever carry on with this stuff going on in front of them and blasted around the world news, where the Princes mother had mixed with Arab blood? There is no question that this state of affairs was intolerable to the royal family and something had to be done sharpish.

The princes thus need to learn to keep a dignified silence if they wish to keep their places. All this self indulgent nanny talk is useless and only hurts their own interests, as well as the British monarchy. Besides, they would not like the answers they found if they themselves investigated the sordid Diana ritual on that fateful rainy Parisian night.

Sir David Attenborough Examines the Wonders of Britain’s Motorways

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Sir David Attenborough Examines the Wonders of Britain’s Motorways

It’s not just squashed hedgehogs one finds on the super highways of modern day Britain, the cornucopia of wildlife discovered can be astoundingly rich in its makeup.

Yes, Britain’s staunch class system does not stop on the motorway, there are many wondrous creatures found weaving in and out of lanes at high speed, usually whacked out on the highest potency skunk or bath salts, these bottom dwellers come from the swamp, the sink estate or that high rise concrete monstrosity erroneously plonked in the middle of some posh area by socialist city planners many years ago.

Then we have the entitled, the kings and queens of the concrete motorway jungle. Usually in Range Rovers or some other tank, these are the landed, or the old money. Educated to the highest standards, they view anyone below them as either prey or just dead meat, fucking useless eaters. One must be cautious amongst this animal, as they have very high standards and do not suffer fools gladly.

If these two ever meet on the highways and byways of Britain, let us say there can be earthquakes. Much to the chagrin of the council estate offal, being told that weaving in and out of lanes indiscriminately whilst puffing on ones Camberwell Carrot with the fat fish wife blabbing next to you and the kid behind sticking his arse out the window at 110 mph is not conducive to orderly conduct, especially when they swipe the wife’s car.

The ensuing melee is thus caught on camera and examined by wildlife watchers with great enthusiasm. Here they are gloriously rolling around exhibiting great virility and gusto, the class system of Britain suddenly shatters and reveals its sordid under belly, as the strutting apes beat their chests for all to see. Fascinating.

Diluted Brexit: Britons Must Rise Up Against Gross Injustice

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Diluted Brexit: Britons Must Rise Up Against Gross Injustice

Having a Brexit in name only while still being ruled by Brussels is not something 53% of voters voted for on June 23, 2016.

Such a pathetic waste of time and money has already been spent on watered down talks, on Project Fear and on placating the unelected EU technocrats who rule over every facet of our lives.

Is this justice, is this how Britain does things? When the majority of the population voted to get completely out of the EU, that is what we meant, there can be no middle way, or hankering to the Commission.

Unfortunately we now have a Brexit team ruled by Remainers like Philip Hammond, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who puts a spanner in the works to every step forward a Brexiteer makes.

With real Brexiteers like Jacob Rees-Mogg locked out of Brexit proceedings, the watering down continues much to the celebration of pro-EU lobby.

The Prime Minister, is complicit in this betrayal of the people, and the sickening walk backwards into the EU quagmire. Theresa May, herself a Remainer, is a disgrace not only to the EU Referendum vote, but to the people of Britain and there is no excuse for her constant backtracking and U-turns.

If the vote that was concluded on June 23, 2016 is not met, eventually there will be civil unrest in the streets, civil disorder across the country will be the norm, and the untrustworthy government ousted. This action will come sooner than later, and the Conservatives will have only themselves to blame for reneging on their false promises for so long.

Anything other than Brexit is a bad deal, the so-called ‘Soft Brexit’ is a bad deal, the capitulation to Brussels over EU law is a bad deal , the ‘transition period’ is a bad deal, the paying of any punitive made up bills is a bad deal. Bad, bad, bad!

Bad deal = walk away

BBC PAY: Chris Evans Demands Pay Rise From £2.5 Million

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BBC PAY: Chris Evans Demands Pay Rise From £2.5 Million

Amongst the revelations revealed yesterday about the massive gender gap in pay for the so-called BBC ‘stars’, at the top of the sordid heap we found radio DJ, Chris Evans.

Not content with his £2.5 million per annum BBC taxpayer funded salary, the Radio Two morning screecher is demanding another whopping pay rise to £5.8 million.

“I spoke to the head honcho, and I said, it’s hard work pressing buttons in the morning to play music and shout down the microphone. In fact, it’s such hard work that I sometimes need three or four more lines of the special stuff in the mornings to do the job. Plus, I’ve just built a fourth garage at the mansion and the Bugattis will be delivered soon.”

Next year the TV licence tax may rise to £260/annum to compensate for the ridiculous sums involved paying people who either simply read from an autocue or roughly shout into microphones in the morning after playing a few poorly chosen records.

Impartial BBC Controller, Edgar Evans, was adamant that the TV licence will have to rise in the new year as salaries rose incrementally.

“It’s not just the stars of the BBC who receive large sums of taxpayer funded money, but behind the scenes, controllers like me take home pay packets that are quadruple of what was published yesterday. Yes, it’s all thanks to the dumb licence fee payer, anyone with any gumption or conscience would have refused to pay the licence tax years ago, but there are millions of idiots in this country who are too brainwashed too care. Keep paying us the money while we feed you mediocre crap day in day out you fucking plebs. I laugh as I sail my new yacht in the Mediterranean, all paid for by the BBC Tax, thank you.”

Saudi Mini Skirt Beauty Was a Mirage Say Religious Police

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Saudi Mini Skirt Beauty Was a Mirage Say Religious Police

“We have had many sightings of a beautiful Saudi woman walking through the desert in a mini skirt showing her long legs, and after much investigation this vision is attributed to the common mirage,” Abdul bin Saleh, Chief of the Religious police Haia, told reporters in Riyadh.

Because of the stringent rules in Saudi Arabia where women have to cover every part of their bodies, many men are so starved of the female flesh that they start seeing things.

“Forget about seeing an oasis in the desert, in Saudi Arabia, seeing a scantily clad woman walking in front of you is hundred times more desirable,” one witness revealed on Wednesday.

Another witness recalled the events when walking through the ancient deserted city of Ushayqir: “I was walking in the midday sun, thirsty and lost. Somehow I lost my map, when all of a sudden out of the sand came this vision. I could even smell her perfume which she dabbed over her milky pale thighs from 50 yards. Her legs were magnificent and she daintily skirted through the deserted streets, I was compelled to follow her like a moth towards a light bulb, and as the sun beat down on my head relentlessly I forgot where or who I was. Turning a corner, suddenly she was gone, I looked up and she had led me to the main road where a few shops and restaurants resided. She saved me, as I was dehydrated.”

Despite the mysterious woman being called a mirage, thousands of desperate Saudi men are now flocking to the area for their chance to sight her.

“It is almost like a pilgrimage, but not out of religion, only testosterone,” another man revealed.

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