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Bible Historians Uncover Scripture Revealing That Jesus Could Not Swim

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Found in a dusty forgotten corner of Jerusalem, bible historians and archaeologists have recovered parchment papers revealing the incredible discovery that Jesus Christ of Nazereth, otherwise known as the Messiah could not swim — but he could walk on water, amongst his many miracles.

Professor of Theology at Arkansas University, Brad Furlong, discovered the parchment which dates back to the first century AD.

“The parchment was part of the New Testament and it was signed by the apostle St. Paul. It details the fact that Jesus was a very poor swimmer, and nearly drowned once when he fell off his fishing boat. The fact that Jesus could walk on water was only mentioned at the end of the short script, and St. Paul reckons that Jesus was given a helping hand by God when he walked on water.”

The archaeological team worked for six weeks to uncover the find and avoided any coronavirus lockdown in place.

“By the grace of God, and the saviour of humankind, Jesus, we were able to find this rare parchment which we will give to the Vatican library for safe keeping,” the professor added.

Christians across the globe were astounded at the new news about Jesus, and have started Christian swimming clubs to praise their Lord. No one however has mastered the art of walking on water yet.

Slot Machines: All You Need to Know

Slot machines are one of the most fun and popular games at online casinos. The reasons derive from their ease of play, the bonuses they give, and the large variety of titles available.

Also, it can’t be denied that the adrenaline and the excitement these games give us adds up to more fans. So, if you want to know everything about online slots keep reading the information below.

What are online casino slots?

Online casino slots are gambling games that are very popular among the gamblers. They make up 70% of the bookmakers’ game catalogue.

Thanks to technology, their design has changed over the years, and nowadays you can play them from your PC or mobile device. The gameplay is attractive, easy to learn, and of course, a lot of fun.

How do slots work?

RANDOM NUMSMost of the online slot machines are designed by prestigious casino software companies. These games are based on RNG (random number generator); which every millisecond will create random sequences. Therefore, these games can’t be fixed by the casinos’ management.

Being the above the first reason to only play slots at licensed casinos that have reputable providers. This factor ensures that your gaming experience will be fair; because these entertainments are tested and audited by independent laboratories.

There are websites such as Xfire whose experts are in charge of recommending the best casinos with slots. All their suggestions have been subjected to extensive testing and research, so they are 100% safe and will save you a lot of time.

This whole process guarantees that the slots have no memory and the results will depend on the luck factor when spinning the reels.

casino-3491252_640

Types of slot machines

Slot machines have evolved a lot over the years and in online casinos, you will find several designs that you should know about.

Classics

They are the least complicated and ideal for novice players. They consist of three reels with various symbols. When the reels are spun the RNG stops the slots and if three identical symbols match on one line you win.

Video Slots

They are technologically impressive, incorporating 5 or more reels. Also, the images, sounds, and graphics are very appealing and sophisticated, allowing you to elevate your gaming experience.

These games have symbols, more pay lines, bonuses, multipliers, nice spins, and more. Besides, the payouts are quite high.

With Jackpot

If you want to have fun and make big money you should try this kind of slot. The jackpots increase as the players interact with the machine and when a lucky player earns it his life changes. Sometimes certain slot titles with progressive jackpots have been handed out millions of dollars.

How many variants of slot machines are there?

It is difficult to say how many variants of slot machines there are. Since every day many titles from different casino software providers are released to the market.

If you enter any casino that offers slot machines in its catalogue you will find hundreds of these games. Therefore, it’s easy to play with more than 7000 thousand titles online.

At the moment slot titles are based on different themes like:

Animals.
Movies and series.
Vampires.
Famous people from politics and show business.
Fantasy.
Mythology.
Country traditions.
Superheroes and many more.

Can I play slots from my cell phone?

phone-875488_640The gaming industry has made it its mission to make things easier for players. For this reason, it has adapted its slot machine games to work on mobile devices such as phones and tablets.

The playability is excellent and the quality of the games is maintained. So, gamblers will not miss a single minute of entertainment while travelling or being away from their computer.

Also, many online casinos give bonuses if you play slots from your mobile device. They also make it easier to make deposits when playing.

Is it possible to win money with these games?

woman-3261425_640Remember that slot machines are games of chance and winning depends mainly on the luck factor. The main idea is to have fun, but your chances of winning are not that far away because the RTP of these games is between 95% and 97%.

Also, these games have bonus rounds and jackpots that can raise your bankroll. Therefore, it is advisable to play with bonuses to lengthen your time on the machines and increase your chances of winning. So, look for online casinos that offer free spins to play with slots.

Why Europe and the EU Owes a Huge Gratitude to Great Britain

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If it were not for Britain’s immense resilience 75 years ago, the world and Europe would have been a very different place.

We would not have democracy but a totalitarian Nazi regime of racial hatred ruling over the European continent and Britain, but it was one tiny island that scuppered the plans of the fascists to create their Third Reich of Nazism.

 

Europe never paid back the British for their sacrifice, instead building a different sort of nemesis across the channel. This time, instead of the Nazi political ideology, the Europeans sought to encompass and adopt the Soviet, collectivist ideology of the former USSR led directly by the unelected Politburo of the EU Commission.

Britain was duped in the 1970s into joining the early construct of the EU, simply as a trading mechanism but did not count on the political agenda that would manifest over time. We were now locked into this monolithic wasteful monster that subverted and subdued democracy, and used Britain simply as a cash cow for their socialist pet projects. Britain found itself being dictated to, being put on the back foot, being ruled over.

Seventy-five years ago on VE day, Britain and its allies had won the war, yet after joining the EU, we were firmly shown that we had not, especially in the eyes of our EU masters, and their communist East German ideals.

Europe had gone from National Socialism to Soviet Communism in one fell swoop, and this swing from one political ideology to another form of totalitarian authoritarianism was the precursor of the Brexit movement.

This island must never give up, especially with huge pressure now to delay or even stop Brexit because of the coronavirus.

Europe may one day thank Britain for seeing sense while most of them cannot or refuse to, especially with the impending dissolution of a Soviet EUSSR that is now intent on building its own military force amongst other expansionist ideas.

We stood up 75 years ago and fought for the tenets of freedom, liberty and democracy while Europe was paralysed under its own deathly facade of fascism, and today we fight for Europe to be freed from its own undemocratic chains of EU communism.

History repeats itself in funny ways sometimes.

Power Mad Smeagol Sturgeon and Her Precious SNP

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This vile creature, lives behind a chip shop in a dark dank alleyway which rarely sees the light of day.

Slithering in the corners, Sturgeon is a good Smeagol swallowing deep-fried Mars bars whole without batting an eyelid. Ever since she received the ring of the SNP, Sturgeon has been consumed by the power of it all.

“Yes-s-s-s, my precious-s-s,” she says rubbing her little plastic ring, her eyes wide in the darkness, sniffing the niffy air.

Suddenly a sodden drunk Scot enters the alley, and lifts his kilt. His urine exalts the brickwork and rubbish bins, the steam rising like rain clouds over Ben Nevis, Sturgeon knows its drinky time, and consumes her Irn-Bru with gusto.

Like a good Glaswegian, the man then takes out a needle and jams it into his groin, sighing as the dirty dose of third-class heroin enters his veins. Throwing the used needle into the darkness, he hears a sound of pain as it hits Gollum.

“Scuse me Miss Sturgeon, didn’t see you there,” the man says leaving hurriedly.

Smeagol is back in her Scottish parliament amongst the used needles, overflowing bins and used condoms.

Time to keep plotting against the Sassenachs, an evil smile curls round Smeagol’s thin lips, she picks up another partially eaten deep-fried Mars bar and swallows without chewing. Time is on her side.

Post-Lockdown World Has Not Changed One Bit

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Where are the flying cars, the eco domes and driverless e-vehicles taking citizens to their sustainable eco-homes replete with robot butlers and 3d printed dinners?

Instead, we still have fossil fuel vehicles clogging up motorways, and all the other shit that never changed whilst under lockdown. What happened to all those idealistic articles written in mainstream news media outlets about how we will never be the same again after coronavirus? People are still cunts. Celebrities still think they can preach to the lesser beings. Politicians are still useless, and the world is still full of useless eaters chomping away on their hoarded food. The programmed pursuit of consumerism and obsession with productivity denigrate the value of life itself: that of plants, that of animals, and that of a great number of human beings and their true creative and scientific potential of sustainable synthesis. It is solely the greed fuelled pursuit of economic profit that is killing every part of this earth, and the mindless slaves enabling this destruction, who follow blindly and without thought within the hive mind.

many cars on road

There will be no idealistic technological future any time soon, as the idiots who dared to even think things will change for the better after coronavirus lockdown ended. For a start, coronavirus has not actually been defeated, and as the masses continue doing what they used to do, they will hopefully get the message soon enough that this fucking virus actually means it.

If people want to go out and infect themselves, they should be given applause, because at the end of the day, they are the ones risking their useless tax-slave lives for nothing.

You can clap all you want, it won’t make any difference, and you may soon end up on a ventilator surrounded by giggling nurses dancing to some horrid tik tok electronic shit music with vapid smiles and glazed soulless eyes as they happily turn on the gas and put you under for eternity.

Garbage dump

Whatever happens after the coronavirus, the debt you owe is still real, the credit card sharks and psychopath bankers still want your fucking payments, the rent man may come round with his goons to break your knee caps, the council tax has to be paid, the income tax is going to rise to pay for the lockdown, the utility bill shister thieves will raise their prices, and the system of debt will continue unabated.

water pollution

There was no cleansing apocalypse, the debt was not wiped; instead what have you got to show for your troubles apart from the same old shit that never changed. People are still living in mud huts in Africa, and every day millions of Chinese people are being born into the world adding to the billions already polluting the barely recovered atmosphere. In fact, get ready for the millions of Chinese tourists who spread the coronavirus in the first place to resume their Venetian holidays, and to ransack buffet services in hotels every fucking where again.

Kim Jong-un is still alive, and the Iranians are still smarting for a fight with the USA, along with the Chinese and the Russians. The Middle East is still in turmoil, and America now has a known debt of over 30 trillion dollars, along with the debt-ridden socialist UK.

Despite what any talking head on some conglomerate news network is ordered to say, nothing has changed. Things will only change when it really hurts, not some kind of month long holiday.

Creepy Uncle Joe Endorsed by Obama

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Former President Barack Obama emerged from political disgrace to endorse Creepy Joe R. Biden Jr. and urge the Democratic Party — including, explicitly, communist supporters of Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont — to unite behind its presumptive presidential nominee in the face of the coronavirus pandemic and evil spectre of Donald Trump getting a second fucking term.

“To meet the moment, the Democratic Party will have to be bold and vote for this creepy fuck,” Mr. Obama said. “I could not be prouder of the incredible progress towards engendering full on Marxism in the United States during my presidency. But if I were running today, I wouldn’t run the same race or have the same platform as I did in 2008. The world is different. People have somehow awoken from my imposed communist indoctrination. There’s too much unfinished Soviet business for us to just look backwards. We have to look to the future, to the progressive collectivist Marxist dream of complete Soviet Americanism.”

(Twitter)

After Creepy Joe nuzzled Obama’s neck, sniffing his curly hair with gusto, Obama continued to honour the Democrat Party’s only hope.

“Hmm, I appreciate your creepiness, Uncle Joe, you can also do the same to Michael later. As I was saying earlier, you, creepy as you are, are the only thing we got against Donald Trump in the next election, and you may be a stinking pervert who enjoys nothing better than to fondle young girls and boys, but we’re progressives, and believe whatever you are or do, you have a goddamn Satan given right to become President of the United States of America, especially in the name of communism, socialism and Marxism.”

Coronavirus Welcomes Humans Coming Back to Work and Schools

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There’s a very good reason why the UK has the highest death rate in Europe for the coronavirus. There was no proper lockdown in the first place, and to top it off, people did not wear proper masks when they ventured out.

This is why the virus survived very well, especially in the packed London Underground train carriages and other public transport. Over 100,000 flights from hotspots all over the globe land in Britain every week during the supposed lockdown, and all ports are open without any checks whatsoever.

Now the government plans to open schools on June 1, which will increase the spread of the virus as many children catch it, bringing it home without any visible symptoms and infect the rest of the family. The cycle will simply continue. Irresponsible, selfish parents who are pushing for schools to open are obviously ignorant to the current situation, and have little care for the welfare of their own kids or for teachers in schools.

The extent the second wave will affect the population cannot be estimated but pathetic distancing rules will do nothing in enclosed offices where the virus will swill around like a deadly airborne soup in the atmosphere, as it is pumped through the ventilation systems from room to room.

Just as the second wave of the 1918 Spanish Flu was deadlier than the first, even Imperial College projections reveal how just a 20% relaxing of the lockdown can prove deadly.

The coronavirus is waiting with eagerness for its second wave, and the idiots in government seem only too willing to feed the dragon a few more times.

Global Stock Markets Set For Next Leg Down

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As many countries naively try to open their businesses and schools up again, there will be a nasty surprise for many as the second wave of the virus bites through.

The clever people who trade know this, and this is why the futures market is factoring another leg down in the global markets on Monday morning.

It’s quite a rare thing for Mr. Buffet to panic, as he sells his airline holdings, coming from the king of buy and hold, this action alone needs to scare the living shit out of anyone still daring to hold any kind of equity apart from physical gold bullion bars.

It’s a shame Gordon Brown sold off all of the UK’s gold reserves when he was Chancellor, because now would have been a great time for some much needed cash for the country.

The coronavirus is not going away, and there will be wave after wave to contend with as different parts of the globe contend with different stages, and air traffic continues unabated.

Food stocks are already failing, crops are being dumped, and gallons of milk are being flushed into the gutter. Food distribution chains are barely functioning and in America, meat is now a rare commodity.

Global food shortages could lead to unrest, something the hierarchy do not want, because they know they are ultimately outnumbered if the whole shithouse goes up in flames. It would be almost too easy to upturn many governments already teetering on the edge, as it would only take a tiny catalyst to fire up the touch paper before the swarms invade the steps of all these parliaments where nothing seems to be solved.

If you are going to do something, do it fucking properly, otherwise don’t do it at all. This mantra relates to the lockdown, especially in the UK and the US which were tackled in a half-hearted haphazard way. This is why the UK and US have such high death rates, and because of their laissez-faire attitude to the coronavirus, they will reap the ill-gotten rewards for their failure.

All the while, China taunts the West, as it denies every accusation thrown at it regarding the coronavirus cover-up by the Chinese Communist Party in the early phases of the outbreak.

The Markets, naturally see all of this shit, because they’re not fucking dumb. Sell, sell, sell!

 

What Lockdown: 100,000 Flights into UK Per Week

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As we have mentioned in countless articles since the beginning of the so-called Great British lockdown, International flights are still coming into the UK by the shedload from global coronavirus hotspots. There are no checks at airports, and it is certain the COVID-19 virus is continuing its infection of the UK population who are still supposedly under lockdown.

It has only been this week that the government announced some sort of un-policed half-hearted quarantine measures for flights into the UK. Naturally this will not include the ports, where hundreds of thousands of people enter the UK weekly, or the rubber dinghies that come over from France holding refugees.

During the sunny weather period a week ago, lockdown seemed a distant memory for thousands of Brits who frequented the beaches, parks and streets to enjoy the sun, and it is certain the virus as well.

The M25 is back to its car park status, as millions of drivers get out and about to spread the virus in various shops and overcrowded scenic spots.

For the virus, this is a welcome respite, because it does not like it when there are no human bodies to infect.

As the idiots in Whitehall push for schools and businesses to re-open early, rest assured, coronavirus will continue its upward trajectory of infections with abject glee.

4 Proven Techniques to Investigate Anyone

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There are plenty of moments in life that you would wish you knew more about those around you. Maybe you are worried about a new neighbour who has moved in next door, or feeling anxious about hiring a new babysitter, or want to know more about someone your son has made friends with online.

Your worries and anxieties don’t come as a surprise when looking at all the media headlines about criminals, paedophiles, stalkers and countless other senseless activities taking place every day.

Violent crime recorded an increase of 19% last year while incidents of stalking and harassment have risen by an alarming rate of 41%. And according to the National Crime Agency, around 500 people are arrested every month due to some form of a child-related sexual offence.

Therefore, keeping an eye on any new acquaintances, whether it’s a new neighbour, colleague or babysitter, would be a smart and prudent step to ensure the safety of you and your loved ones.

So, how can you do some sleuthing like a professional to dig into the background of someone? Here are 4 simple and effective steps to help you uncover personal information of just about anyone the next time you are feeling worried.

1. Search engines – For an all-round basic search

google-485611_1280Search engines like Google and Bing should be your first go-to resource. But why use search engines? Because they are easily accessible, contain a massive curated source of online data, and best of all, they are free.

They can scan through trillions of pages to get you the most relevant information sources to your search within a split second. Google, for instance, crawls over 130 trillion web pages to find relevant content with an impressive speed under a second.

So if you have a name and any other piece of information of the person whose background you want to unearth, simply type it in and click search. You can even select the time period you want to search for, set a specific region to limit your findings, do a voice search or even carry out a reverse image lookup using most search engines. And this can help you uncover your subject’s online footprint, such as the social platforms they are active on, any published news media, blogs, businesses, and the likes with any type of reference to them. This data would be useful to further your search and could link you to more information to pursue.

2. People search tool – Dive deep into personal information

Once you have carried out a basic Google search, you can next turn to a people searchbinoculars-1209011_1280 tool. And what’s so special about them? Depending on which tool you use, they can become a fast, accurate, and reliable resource to help you with your investigative work.

The larger people search sites will have more extensive databases and can provide more in-depth and specific information that would otherwise be difficult for you to access easily. Nuwber, for instance, can get you access to personal and confidential information such as the person’s financial status including assets, mortgages, loans and bankruptcies, as well as any criminal records, arrest warrants, court cases and even traffic violations. You can also get access to details about their friends, closest family members and associates, which could be useful to uncover more details. And depending on what type of information you already hold, they can also help you perform reverse searches using an address, contact number or an email address.

3. Social media – Dig into their personality, character and values

Your search engine and background checking tools would have now provided you with details of social media platforms your subject is associated with. And these should be your next source of information. But why browse social media profiles? It’s because they can help you dig up a different set of information to what you have already uncovered from search engines and people search tools.

First of all, social media is a great way to explore and understand someone’s interests, preferences and taste. You can determine this from the way they manage their profile pages, the type of content they share and like, their comments, and the type of people they regularly associate with online.

This could give you some useful insights into their personality, character and values. However, keep in mind that people could also project bloated self-images on social media. But no one is perfect, and they are bound to slip out some clues every now and then. And you can detect these if you keep a lookout for any inconsistent or contradicting content across their various social profiles.

In addition, you can also discover some often obscure information through the visual content they share on social media. For instance, pictures could provide you with clues to their friends and colleagues or places they frequently visit. You can also carry out reverse image searches using the Google image search tool.

4. Your network – Get personal with your search

The sleuthing you have done so far would have helped you unearth details about personal information, personality and characteristics of the individual you are investigating. Now you need to go over each piece of detail and try to tie them in so that you can discover some common connection.

Every person is tied into several networks they associate with and you would be surprised how these could intertwine with your own. It could be a gym or a pub they have visited, the companies they have worked in, the school or university they have attended, professional organisations they are associated with, or their friends, family or neighbours.

Photos with friends or a post comment referring to their school days could all provide clues for you to find the connections. And there’s a good chance that these could lead you to someone in your own network of friends, family, colleagues or any other associates. And why is that important? Because it’s the most reliable way to seek opinions and general impressions about a person.

So, there you have it. Use these proven techniques to dive deep into someone’s background if you are in the mood to do some detective work of your own. They can get you access to enough background information of anyone, quickly and easily, with reliable data.