Obama Eunuch Castration Scare

Jesse Jackson: Another balls-up

CHICAGO – USA – Senator Barack Obama was embroiled in a castration drama during a Fox News interview with Jesse Jackson and Bill O’Reilly yesterday.

The Reverend Jesse L. Jackson had to be restrained in a Fox News studio when he attempted to castrate the next President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.

Prior to an interview with Fox News the cameras were left rolling and recorded the whole sordid scene in its entirety.

“Scrote”

“There was chaos in the studio as Jackson started shouting about ‘Oreo cookies’. He got his switchblade out and ordered Obama to lower his trousers so he could emancipate him in the name of Jesus Christ. There were many expletives flying in the air as Obama strangely complied with Jackson’s order, it was only when Bill O’Reilly jumped in and ordered Jackson to back off that things eventually cooled off,” a shocked network worker cited in court papers filed Wednesday.

Other witnesses were terrified when the evangelical Christian said that he was “going to make Obama into a Castrato for the opera and a eunuch for the Seraglio”. Clearly the Reverend was delusional and a medical team was quickly ushered in to inject him with a sedative and stretcher him off to a hospital.

“The O’Reilly Factor”

Mr O’Reilly who is a prominent member of the homosexual community in Oregon, is no stranger to controversy. Last year he was caught wearing a pink ballet dress and stockings under the table when he was presenting his top rated show. He was suspended for a week but was given his post back after a long session in the back of his 1986 Toyota Camry GLi Estat with Rupert Murdoch himself. He has since been promoted to be the head of Fox’s Republican Propaganda Services.

“Oreo Cookies”

Mr Jackson, who himself stood for the Democratic presidential nomination in both 1984 and 1988, said he felt “very distressed” over the success of Mr Obama. “Why didn’t people vote for me? Why that boy got ahead and I did not. Goddam racist bigots, it’s because he is an Oreo — Black on the outside, white on the inside.”

Reverend Jackson’s Rainbow/PUSH Coalition is based in Mr Obama’s home town of Chicago and his son, Jesse Jackson Jnr, is a national co-chairman of the Obama campaign.