Brave Prince Harry calls for pizza whilst playing video games in the Helmand Province bunker
HELMAND PROVINCE – Afghanistan – Prince Harry has been put in extreme danger by the headline crazy American Matt Drudge after revealing the Prince’s whereabouts on his tour of duty in the Afghan warzone.
Bungling American sensationalists the Drudge Report have put Prince Harry’s life in danger by revealing that the Prince has been in Afghanistan for the past three months.
The Ministry of Defence was left reeling today by the blatant disregard for the safety of the heroic Prince.
The Prince, a junior officer in the Blues and Royals and third in line to the throne, has been a “magnificent soldier” and an “inspiration to all of Britain,” an MOD spokesman said.
The Drudge Report reveals that the Prince has been holed up in a concrete bunker for three months deep within the bowels of a heavily guarded fortress somewhere in Helmand Province.
Harry is surrounded by his own personal regiment of combat hardy Ghurkas guarding him at all times as well as a regiment of SAS soldiers.
‘Harry the Hero’
Prince Harry has spent the time playing video games on a surveillance system the army dubs ‘Kill TV’.
“The brave Prince is very proficient at the game which involves pinpointing anything that moves on a surveillance drone and calling in an F-16 attack to blow up the target,” reveals Commander James Butterworth.
He has in the last month alone blown up 43 goat herders, a troupe of travelling prosthetic limb salesmen and some endangered peregrine falcons.
Last week the Prince, who was allowed out of the heavily fortified compound for a few hours on a reconnaissance photoshoot, played the part of a brave soldier very well and posed with his gun in the dusty compounds courtyard.
Yesterday a spokesman for Clarence House said: “This is utterly irresponsible behaviour from the American media. It is not good news to hear that Prince Harry will now be in danger in a warzone.”
Prince Harry’s dad is very proud of his son and also comes from an illustrious military heritage. Major James Hewitt was however not available for comment because he had drunk one too many the night before in some Gloucestershire dive.
Prince Harry is a long way away from Boujis and Amika and because of this security breech he may well be reunited with a jug of vodka sooner than he thinks. Huzzah!