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Scientists Prove Jesus Walked with Dinosaurs

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Jesus riding a dinosaur Jesus riding a dinosaur

PETERSBURG - Kentucky - A panel of prominent scientists and paleontologists have discovered new groundbreaking evidence that Jesus walked with dinosaurs.

Jesus and his disciples walked with dinosaurs 2000 years ago and the earth and universe are only 10,000 years old.

Independent scientists funded by the Christian Neocon Church of Kentucky have also discovered that Adam and Eve wore fashionable garments given by God. This goes against the grain of the popular belief that they wore leaves over their genitalia in the garden of Eden.

These are just some of the myriad of facts which have now been discovered to be true by the scientists working in tandem with archeologists all over America.

Evolution Myth

Professor Alan Johnsons from the University of Mobile, Alabama says: "Blasphemers and evolutionists deny the fact that humans and dinosaurs coexisted. This is not the true Christian path that God and Jesus wrote

Image courtesy Monty Propps

about.

"Children and adults outside of America are indoctrinated with the false 'belief' that man did not co-exist with dinosaurs starting from early childhood with books that teach it.  It's reinforced in their school systems, the media and the entertainment industry.

"God wrote in the bible that he created humans and dinosaurs on the same day. Jesus walked and talked with dinosaurs. He even had one as a pet sometimes - an Agilisaurus which he kept in his carpentry workshop. We have eyewitness accounts and scientific evidence about this, folks, and it's all in the Bible."

The scientific study was not only all encompassing with profound discoveries in three continents, but also took over twenty years of research to finally come up with definitive answers to everything.


George W Bush has even been named patron of the creationist movement and was last year honoured at Kentucky Fry University with a Masters in Young Earth Studies.

The University at Kentucky Fry has also discovered dinosaur footprints dated 2000 years ago alongside the footprints of man. This incredible discovery alone is enough to cement the theory.

It is hardcore discoveries like this and a dinosaur claw mark on the Turin Shroud which have proved evolutionists are wrong in every way.


More Great Bible Facts

- Jesus had pale white skin with blonde hair and blue eyes and this endeared him to his pet Agilisaurus.

- There is evidence to suggest that Jesus and his disciples had mullet haircuts.

- The disciples of the messiah would often travel on the backs of large flying dinosaurs similar to the Rhambphorhynchus Anurognathus on their way to the sea of Galilee. The large flying reptile Pterosaurs are also mentioned from the teachings of the lord Jesus Christ himself when speaking with Nicodemus (Jn. 3:14).

- Noah's Ark carried many dinosaurs including the Tyrannosaurus Rex and Brachiosaurus as well as tiny insects and bugs.

- Adam saved Eve from being eaten by a Carnotaurus one day and was rewarded with intercourse. This is how the human race initially multiplied.


- Only Americans who believe in Jesus walking with dinosaurs will be taken up to be with him and all his friends in heaven when the Rapture comes.


According to a 2001 Gallup poll, about 59% of Americans believe that "God created humans and dinosaurs pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so."

Another 27% believe that "human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God guided this process." Only 14% believe that "human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God had no part in this process."

Don't forget to visit the Creation Museum in Kentucky which realistically brings the pages of the Bible to life. Designed by a former Universal Studios exhibit director, the museum is an informative haven for the whole family.

Collage courtesy: Francesca Berrini

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Subscribe to comments feed Comments (106 posted)

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Seems Legit 23/04/2013 16:30:43
The Universe has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconveinience. If the error persists, please contact your local drug dealer, or send an error report to God.
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sooz 15/04/2013 16:28:31
Holy ... cow! Has the "sapiens" in Homo sapiens been chucked altogether?
I can't believe the ridiculous statements, silly arguments and hopeless replies around here.
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jess 29/03/2013 00:20:31
A friend of mine posted this on FB too. I was reading further for these interesting findings up until I read the "amazing biblical facts" did I suspect humor. Sure enough, this website is dedicated to satire. I had a great laugh.
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Lit_Reflex 12/03/2013 05:37:01
Religion is retarded. It amazes me that people can encounter so much false information in the bible and still believe in god.
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Chad Johnson 09/03/2013 22:35:40
Where is the science? I must have missed it.
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me 08/02/2013 19:46:13
im eating popcorn
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User 23/01/2013 14:06:50
This article made my day! lol :D
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11/12/2012 16:55:23
This is the greatest article I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

The ignorance of some religious fundamentalists and young earth creationists is sad. People should learn to question what is presented in front of them, and the evidence clearly supports evolutionary theory.

Religion is a big pile of crock.
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James Albright 01/03/2013 21:53:48
AND YOU HAVE PROOF OF EVOLUTION??? There is no proof of it. The Bible is proof of God's word you will find the answer to his message once you pass on to the other side. Darwin was a fraud and just because a scientist says something does not make it right or explain the spirit of God.
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Larry Miller 13/03/2013 13:53:31
Whenever you have to choose between provable science and unprovable mythology, choose the science.
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idiot 08/03/2013 11:14:36
there are bunch of evidences fo evolution LOL

evolution is fact

can't you distinguish a theory and a hypotheses?

a theory explains existent facts LOL

it's advisable for you to see this ↓

http://www.aaas.org/news/press_room/evolution/qanda.shtml
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Gene Poole 07/03/2013 15:18:12
Thanks, but I'll be staying on this side - if this side is the side that still believes in the scientific method and lets me believe what I want.
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Fisheswithfeet 23/11/2012 20:44:36
HAHAHAHAHAHA! A Christian friend of mine posted this on FB. Oh the stupidity is painful to watch, yet hilarious. Good fucking grief, people.
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sssdas 11/11/2012 23:14:51
is this a joke
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Watta 05/11/2012 10:16:29
Internet....where religions came to die
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Aju 10/10/2012 11:14:51
Why should- Adam save Eve from being eaten by a Carnotaurus which was created by jesus. Did jesus create a man eater. Or that animal wont listen jesus words or did jesus told the animal to eat Eve
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19/09/2012 14:21:51
LOLOLOLOLLOL
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Jerome 15/09/2012 06:49:02
"God wrote in the bible that he created humans and dinosaurs on the same day."

Please, for the love of God, provide me with a direct line citation to where this sentiment is even remotely expressed in the Book of Genesis or whatever Bible you're reading.

Thank you.
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Juni 29/08/2012 23:34:19
Science just produces lies and creates non truths that are not applicable to Biblical scriptures. We must preach to the people so that the do not believe the lies that the earth is millions of years old. How can the earth be millions of years old if it was only created by God in seven days 4500 years ago.
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Dave 01/03/2013 14:07:05
...because it wasn't! Even many Christian theologians accept that the world wasn't created 4500 years ago and that people who take that seriously are very ignorant and have ignored all the provable science. But hey, I know logic and evidence won't interest you.
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