COVENTRY – England – Britain’s Got Talent judges and the British public have been astounded by the latest piece of massive talent to come out of our great nation — Mary Bale.
She has shot to fame in just a few days from absolute obscurity working as a bank clerk for an ailing banking chain. Dubbed as “the new SuBo Cat Woman” she has captured the nation’s slop buckets with her vile antics.
Simon Cowell gushed over her act: “She looked around, then she took that moggy and stuffed it in the bin. I was stunned at the enormity of the cowardly vile act, even I couldn’t top that one.”
Then Pierce Moron added to the praise: “Everyone knows I’m a lowly cowardly, smarmy, vile piece of putrefying shit, but this cat woman really showed me up. I couldn’t top what she did either.”
The audiences of Britain’s Got Talent all voted for the Cat Woman too, propelling her to instant fame. She is so famous now, that SuBo is a distant memory, the only similarity being that both of them are short fat ugly pugs and as mad as hatters.