17.7 C
Thursday, February 29, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGlobal Warming Activists Happy About Iceland Volcano Cooling

Global Warming Activists Happy About Iceland Volcano Cooling

LONDON - England - Mount Bardarbunga in Iceland is ejaculating and thrusting out billions of particles into the atmosphere blocking out the sun's rays over Britain.

buy squib book

Global warming activists were said to be in a joyous mood earlier today when reports came through that the Iceland volcano which is erupting will expel billions of tiny pieces of debris acting as shields reflecting the sun’s light away from earth meaning Britain’s winter temperatures could plunge to Arctic levels while summer will be devoid of sunshine.

“This is great news for global warming because instead we’ll get freezing Arctic weather in the UK, and it won’t be nice and warm and toasty,” Jemma Baxenfarqua, a keen global warming activist told the BBC.

Even chief global warmist Al Gore chimed in from his sprawling mansion in America: “Looks like you Brits will get some global cooling or should I say freezing. Don’t worry folks the amount of energy I use every year with my massive carbon emissions will mean I’m living it up while you guys get frozen to ice cubes. Oh did I not mention the Russkies? Well, last I heard they’re cutting off the gas to Europe. Here’s to your global cooling ass wipes.”

Squib staff were said to be emigrating to the Southern Hemisphere to write their articles. It seems Ebola is a better bet than seeing your testicles fall on the floor as icicles.


  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. The volcano isn’t erupting. And by the way – the only people who quote Al Gore (who isn’t a scientist) are rapid climate change deniers of the US far right.
    What IS true however is that the earth is now losing a trillion tons of ice per year:

    – 159 Gt Antarctic LAND ice volume………McMillan el al, GRL (2014)
    + 26 Gt Antarctic SEA ice volume…………Holland et al, J Climate (2014)
    – 261 Gt Arctic sea ice…………………………..PIOMAS
    – 378 Gt Greenland, Enderlin et al………….GRL (2014)
    – 259 Gt other land based glaciers…………Gardner et al. Science (2013)


    In fact, even the modest increase in seasonal Antarctic sea ice was predicted by Manabe et al 1991, nearly 25 years ago.

    And, of course, the melt is accelerating as global temperatures, especialy ocean temperatures continue to rise. And make no mistake – the laws of physics did NOT magicaly cease to apply to the radiative properties of the CO2 molecule in July 1998 no matter how much the carbon corporation’s propaganda machine tries to insist they did.

    Between 1997 and 2003 Greenland was losing ice at 83 cubic kilometres a year. From 2003 to 2009 it was up to 153 cubic kilometres a year.
    Last year, using 14.3 million data points across Greenland collected by CryoSat, the research team were able to show it was up to an extraordinary 378 cubic limotres per year – nearly 5 times faster than just a decade ago.

    If you think that’s bad – or even if you don’t – check out Antarctica.
    Antarctica is also losing ice mass at an accelerating rate.
    The 159 loss reported by the McMillan el al study is the long term average which obscures the detail.
    Between 1992 and 2001, ice was melting from the two main ice sheets at a rate of about 64 Gt a year.
    From 2002 to 2011, the ice sheets were melting at a rate of about 362 Gt a year – an almost six-fold increase.

    I wonder what could possibly be causing the ice to melt? Could it be because the warming has stopped?

    Heh heh.
    If you are not ‘alarmed’ by these figures then you’re clearly not paying attention.

    But the ice melt is the least of the problems that global warming is causing.
    Far more immediate will be the crop losses due to droughts and floods and the damage to the global economy – as we can already see. Well – most of us can.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »