Comrades, as you know, we are a faction of the socialist communist Big State, although we are still a part of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. I am commissar Badenoch, and I seek to bring order to the Big State as news filters through of another defection from the party.
We function under the socialist system under the wing of supreme comrade Starmer, but we are afforded a little bit of autonomy within the socialist system of the PRSB.
Comrades, there have been movements by brigands who seek to undermine the Big State and its socialist systema. These brigands are led by a man called Nigel Farage, and he calls his team — the Reform Party. These despicable partisans must be stopped at all costs.
I have ordered specialist stasi officers to sweep the party to find any potential defectors to the brigand groups.
Any sympathisers or agents we find will be liquidated and made into Net Zero Juice — that cool, refreshing drink.
As for those who have defected to the partisans, we will find you eventually and make an example of your betrayal to the PRSB.
You can hide behind the cloak of Farage for as long as you want with your treacherous defection, but you will not be safe from our spies and stasi agents, who have already infiltrated the brigands.
It is only a matter of time until we find you and bring you to justice.
