Pubs used to be jolly places where communities could get together, have a few pints and chill out. Things have changed however under Labour, not only are many pubs going out of business due to Labour’s evil and punitive tax regimes, but the Pub Banter Police have been introduced by the Deputy PM, Angela Rayner.
“It’s like living in East Germany during the soviet era now. You can’t say anything, you can’t have a laugh, everyone is paranoid because they can get snitched on at any second,” one fearful pub reveller revealed.
The fear rises instantly as soon as you walk into a hushed, half-empty pub to buy a pint for £9.80. All the pub-goers can only whisper at very low volume for fear of their words being heard by a snitch or a Labour Stasi Banter agent.
The Pub Banter Police are a special unit, dressed in plain clothes, created by the Labour government, that go to pubs randomly to arrest punters who say something that is deemed as un-woke or not conducive to hyper-sensitive politically correct Marxist far-left conformity.
Subjects that are marked as warranting immediate arrest and conviction are generally centred around anything about the millions of fake asylum seekers being put up in 5-star hotels, or anything to do with ethnic issues. Any subject that involves, Labour, tax, feminism, LGBTQP rights, trans, mass unfettered immigration or Angela Rayner’s ginger bush are seriously punishable with jail time.
“Yes, they’re plain clothes. They also play along to the banter — egging you on and let you incriminate yourself. We had one guy arrested last week for saying a joke about Keir Starmer and his Dalek voice. The agents were even laughing along to the joke before they said, ‘Right, you’re nicked!’ and bundled the poor bastard into an unmarked van outside. We still don’t know what’s happened to him,” a regular at the Tamworth pub where the incident occurred in June.
Next round’s on no one …
