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How to Make $5 Million in a Year Without a Single Day of Work

NEW YORK - USA - Ever wanted to make a cool $5 million a year and not have to do a single day of work? We will show you how.

Making money comes easy for some, and for others, not so easy. I am going to tell you a story about a man who made $5 million in a single year and teach you how you too could do the same thing. In fact, this is so easy that you will be truly astounded.

Firstly, you do not need a business, you do not have to break your back in some routine soulless fucking job. You do not need to work in some garish office or slave away on a building site lugging bricks up and down a gnarly old ladder.

You do not have to collect mundane objects, chewing gum wrappers or matchboxes hoping that one day in a hundred years they may have some value.

You do not have to invent the square wheel…again, or some sort of newfangled gadget that is then manufactured en masse in a Chinese communist slave factory.

You do not have to come up with the only vaccine for some deadly virus or disease, then sell it to governments for huge prices.

How about writing that one hit song that goes down in the annals of rock’n’roll as the greatest song ever written, making you millions? No, you don’t have to be some performing monkey and do tedious MTV interviews with some brain-dead lobotomised pop DJ or do any circus tricks.

Forget about writing that special app that is downloaded by gazillions of paying people, or starting the next Facebook or Twitter. Every angle has now been covered, and the market is completely oversaturated as well as shot.

Here’s the clincher, none of that crap is needed if you want to make a cool five million bucks per year, you see it’s all down to one single thing and that thing is a very special commodity that was first possibly conceptualised in Sumerian times approximately 7,500 years ago.

Now, the pièce de résistance! Yes, that little thing that you need, well … Forget about working for a living or doing any other useless nonsensical shit. The key to making $5 million per annum is really a very simple thing. It’s called already having shedloads of money in the first place, call it inheritance, or some lucky mega payoff, and of course, lest we forget, a teensy $71,428,571.43 in the bank at a special rate of 7%.

Money makes money, and that’s called interest. One does not need to undertake any action other than depositing the funds into an exclusive bank account for the privileged that is reserved for a select group of individuals, and one can generate a staggering $5 million dollars annually for doing absolutely nothing.

Disclaimer: This should not be considered as financial advice in any way, even though it is completely true that to make real money, you need shitloads of money in the first place and should be preferably born into it.

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