There’s something strange in the works for the Democrat Party and their 125-year-old leader, Joe Biden — Paris Hilton feet.
“Joe likes to sniff everything, and we need him to stop this sniffing if we are to illegally win the election again. Our secret weapon, Paris Hilton feet. We employed the celebrity to come down to the White House once a week and force Joe Biden to smell her feet. We think this tactic is working wonders, as the mastermind of all of it was Barack Obama, who is effectively Biden’s puppeteer,” a White House spokesman revealed on Saturday.
Speaking to Vogue magazine, Paris Hilton revealed the vagaries of her new job.
“They pay me $20,000 per day to take off my shoe in front of Joe. I then extend my toes under his nose, and he retches, sometimes vomiting onto the carpet. I then put my shoe back on, and they lead me out into the corridor. When the order comes in from Obama, they tell me to do the process again, sometimes three or four times in a day. This is the most meaningful job I ever had, even though I have never worked a day in my life.”
So far, the Democrats have seen some success with Joe Biden not sniffing everything.
“We brought in some pre-pubescent girls to the White House on a school trip. Usually Joe would be all over them sniffing away, telling them creepy things about not having boyfriends until they are thirty, or other creepy stuff. This time, he shuffled away. Did not even look or sniff at them. Looks like the Paris Hilton feet method is really working,” an intern revealed to Democrat Party news service MSNBC.
Givenchy is even considering replicating the smell of Paris Hilton feet in their next perfume for women called “S’en Aller”.