17.7 C
London
Saturday, April 27, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEU Bans Chinese-Made Toilets Exported to Russia

EU Bans Chinese-Made Toilets Exported to Russia

BRUSSELS - THE EU - According to sources, the EU sought to punish Russia by banning toilet exports. This vapid action only means that the Russians import directly from China.

In a bid to cause a shit storm, apparently the EU banned Chinese made toilets to Russia. This was meant to be a Ukraine invasion punishment, but all Putin has to do is import the toilets directly from China and even cut costs of importation.

The EU has been secretly importing Russian gas and oil from China since the beginning of the Ukraine war. Essentially, Russian gas is sent to China where it is then packaged as Chinese gas by brokers, who then sell it at inflated cost to the EU. Everyone knows the commodity is Russian in origin, but of course no one says a word.

The EU is also dithering on sending weapons and munitions to Ukraine simply because they are shit scared that Putin will invade the rest of Europe, however there will be no stopping Putin and his cannon fodder from somehow moving further West once Ukraine capitulates to his army of Orcs. The EU nations like Germany dilly-dallying on defending Ukraine and refusing to send jets will thus cause Ukraine’s eventual defeat, and Putin will gain momentum in sweeping through the rest of Europe like a knife through butter. Thankfully for France, Macron has his nose so far up Putin’s anus that he can tickle Putin’s tonsils. Paris and its beautiful architecture will be spared as France surrenders within the first week of the coming conflict. Yes, it seems like history is a great portend to the future.

As for the shit? It spews not only from the EU, but from Russia, China and of course from the mainstream nonsense media…ad infinitum.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »