John Kerry’s Toupee Visits Britain

LONDON - England - Former presidential candidate and Swift boat man, otherwise known as Hanoi John Kerry, visited Britain today and so did his toupee.

“I must say it is an impressive piece,” Foreign Secretary, William Hague commented when he met Mr Kerry’s toupee.

Mr Hague has even shown interest in acquiring a similar hair piece so he can dazzle his wife Ffion with it.

“I might take her to one of those seedy hotels in Earls Court and get a room with twin beds in it. When I get my new hair, she will most certainly push the two beds together,” Mr Hague quipped.

At one point while visiting Number10 Downing Street a gust of wind blew Mr Kerry’s hair piece off.

Mr Kerry said in his droning monotone voice: “That toupee went down like the Belgrano. Ouch!”