Some A-Levels Do ‘Ave ‘Em

LONDON - England - The A-level fiasco led by Secretary of State for Education, Gavin Williamson has been a complete bumbling failure this year.

Gavin Williamson - Frank Spencer A-levels

Bumbling around in the education system not knowing what the hell he’s doing — Gavin Williamson, or is that Frank Spencer, is causing quite a stir with A-Levels.

“Today I got an A, D, and C grade for my Physics A-Level. Thanks to the bumbling idiots in the Education Ministry, and that mumbling fool Frank Spencer, ahem, I mean Gavin Williamson, I get to pick and choose which grade I get. I can choose a meaningless A, a meaningless D or a meaningless C grade,” one happy student revealed.

Pick’n’Mix 

The fact that no employer will take any of the grades given today seriously is neither here nor there.

“You can take the estimated results of results on mock exam estimations which you may not have had, but Ofqual said something else, and while you are at university you can retake the meaningless A-levels whilst studying for a degree to add more pressure to your already grim future, or you can appeal to Ofqual about Ofqual and the triple-quadruple-quintuple lock system, adjusted from the Scottish exam results from yesterday..ooh! I’ve got myself into a real tizzy. We need to do another U-turn Betty, I’ve got my Ofquals in a real mix, A-levels and the lives of students. Let’s just give everyone A grades like last year, it’s decided then! Oh, I’ve just done a woopsie! I meant F — not A!” Gavin Williamson revealed today.

It has thus been decided that everyone will get A grades just like last year, and the year before, or there could be a major u-turn and everyone gets an F. They’re all meaningless anyway.