17.7 C
London
Thursday, October 3, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMan Arrested For Defending Family From Burglars

Man Arrested For Defending Family From Burglars

MELTON MOWBRAY - England - A man and his wife were today arrested for defending themselves from four burglars, the police have disclosed.

“We have arrested the man who was defending his wife and property from aggressive burglars. The burglars have been set free but the man and his wife were arrested because they tried to protect themselves,” a policeman at the scene told Human Rights lawyers.

The husband and wife were said to have disturbed the burglars during the break-in and the man shot the criminals with a shotgun injuring two.

“This will not do. The burglars could have been severely injured. We must have the Health and Safety inspectorate on site as well as the Crown Prosecution Service immediately. Protecting one’s family and property is a highly illegal practice in the United Kingdom and must be stamped out with extreme prejudice. Despicable behaviour, and these two miscreants will be tried to the full extent of British law,” QC Lloyd Davidson, told the Daily Mirror.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. The fact that two of the scumbags were only injured and not offed hints that the defender wasn't attempting anything more than essential defense. Who said burglary was a safe form of employment anyway?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!