fallen angel CATHEDRAL

It’s no use having fairground attractions, and crazy golf in cathedrals to entice people to be somehow interested in the dying embers of Christianity, the Bishop of Bath and Wells, Pumpy Babyeater, has revealed.

“What people really want is brothels. People are sick and tired of all these petty attractions like crazy golf courses, no, what they really want is a good fuck,” the Bishop told a cathedral meeting on Friday.

If the Bishop’s plans were put in place, there would be literally queues around cathedrals all across the country, as all tastes would be catered for.

“No doubt, Jesus would have approved, simply because one of his best friend’s was Mary of Magdalene, a sinful woman who prostituted her body from the Sea of Galilee to Egypt,” the Bishop quipped.

What about charges, would cathedral visitors have to pay for the services of the Christian brothels?

Bachanal - Nicolas Poussin

“There would be no money passing hands to our Christian brothel workers, they will be doing their duty in the name of Christ and the church. In fact many of the priests, and nuns, ahem, did I say that, I meant brothel workers will be doing the Lords work knowing full well they will be rewarded in the Kingdom of Heaven by God, once they shuffle the mortal coil, so to speak.”

From now on, there will be severe interest in cathedrals and other places of Christian worship, and the sounds that will emanate from these places will not be of the hymn kind, but the grunting and orgasmic kind.

One could certainly postulate that the devil won through in the end, it took some time, but he always comes through.