17.7 C
London
Wednesday, December 4, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBishop Proposes Working Brothel to Entice People into Cathedral

Bishop Proposes Working Brothel to Entice People into Cathedral

ROCHESTER - England - After a series of failed attempts to entice people into the cathedral, the Bishop is proposing brothels.

It’s no use having fairground attractions, and crazy golf in cathedrals to entice people to be somehow interested in the dying embers of Christianity, the Bishop of Bath and Wells, Pumpy Babyeater, has revealed.

“What people really want is brothels. People are sick and tired of all these petty attractions like crazy golf courses, no, what they really want is a good fuck,” the Bishop told a cathedral meeting on Friday.

If the Bishop’s plans were put in place, there would be literally queues around cathedrals all across the country, as all tastes would be catered for.

“No doubt, Jesus would have approved, simply because one of his best friend’s was Mary of Magdalene, a sinful woman who prostituted her body from the Sea of Galilee to Egypt,” the Bishop quipped.

What about charges, would cathedral visitors have to pay for the services of the Christian brothels?

Bachanal - Nicolas Poussin

“There would be no money passing hands to our Christian brothel workers, they will be doing their duty in the name of Christ and the church. In fact many of the priests, and nuns, ahem, did I say that, I meant brothel workers will be doing the Lords work knowing full well they will be rewarded in the Kingdom of Heaven by God, once they shuffle the mortal coil, so to speak.”

From now on, there will be severe interest in cathedrals and other places of Christian worship, and the sounds that will emanate from these places will not be of the hymn kind, but the grunting and orgasmic kind.

One could certainly postulate that the devil won through in the end, it took some time, but he always comes through.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!