Located on planet Brino, Boris, once a good Jedi, has been seduced by the dark side of the Force, but all is not lost, he can return to the good Force if he makes that step.
Whatever they promised you Boris, do not take it. Do not take their bribes, and their false promises, and their lies. Do not listen to the Sith Snake, Gove, remember that knife in your back is still lodged firmly from the last time.
They are liars, as they have lied to the British people, and the 17.4 million who voted to get out of the EUMPIRE.
You yourself called the Chequers BRINO plot a ‘turd’ and many agree with you.
Listen, you may think it is better to be in the Cabinet then out, however you can still come into the light old chap, all it takes is one step at a time.
The Dark Force can be enticing, it allures you into its depths with glamour, but look beyond the curtain and you will see that it is FALSE glamour. All that glitters is not gold Boris, just look for yourself. Come forth into the light and you will free yourself from the clutches of the Dark Side.
The Path of Light is less glamorous but it is a true path. The Path of Light is also harder to navigate but it is the righteous path, and not one of falsities, lies and shame.
You can do it Boris. We know you can. All it takes is one step forward, then another, then another..
Believe in the Force Boris. Do not be seduced by the Dark Force, look into the light instead!