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TSA Plans Screening Americans in their Homes

MILWAUKEE - USA - Think you could avoid the TSA's body scanners and pat-downs by not flying, taking the train or bus, then you're wrong. The TSA wants to come to your home to complete searches on U.S. citizens even if you do not use any public transport.

“This is just the next step in our special TSA pre-crime initiative where everyone will be screened before they even embark on any type of journey. We’ve heard bad things about you folks who are not even travelling or avoiding public places just because you don’t want your groin groped or an internal body search. Well, we have news for you, we’ll be knocking on your doors at home to bodysearch you there as well,” TSA head, John Lacerta Pistole, told the Washington Observer.

The new TSA rules will require the whole population including new born babies and severely handicapped people to be searched in their homes.

Freedom

Refusing entry to the TSA search party could result in the search denier being detained indefinitely and moved under duress to a secret holding area.

“Remember, the next knock on your home’s door could be from a group of TSA officials waiting with gloved hands to search your orifices and your families holes too. You must grant entry for these officials into your property so that they can violate your bodies with impunity. Once they have searched your bodies, you will be required to put your clothes back on and let the officials leave. You must be calm at all times and any form of agitation, anger or abuse towards our trained TSA goons will result in either tasering or forced detention. Please be aware that we will also be confiscating weapons in all American households, so leave your guns by the door and we’ll take those as well as your daughter’s virginity,” Kevin Pedoslime, a TSA spokesman announced on all U.S. TV channels yesterday.

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123 COMMENTS

  1. i feel sad for ur family, u dont deserve the few freedoms u hav left. u are a disgrace to this country and u should leave. wake up to the truth that u live in a police state and u incourage it. the ppl the tsa claim to "protect" us from wer created by our own government but of course u would kno that if u did ur own reaserch instead of believeing ever thing u hear about the "good" our government is doin.

    Any person who surrenders theyr freedoms and liberty for a little security deserve neither and will receive neither- Thomas Jefferson.

    do u kno who that is, that is a man who committed treason aginst his king to make sur all future generations hav tru freedom even sheep like u.

  2. One thing we know for sure, God is in control. The biggest fear someone should have is that they do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Our live could be taken from us at any time and if we have not recognized that we are sinners in need of a savior we will perish and spend an eternity in Hell. But the good news is that Christ died for our sins and all we have to do is repent or turn from our sins, put all our faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Personally I have no fear of death, how about you? Good question isn't it?

  3. The TSA are great, their protecting us from Islam and other threats. We should be happy that their searching us and preventing anymore terrorism.

    God Bless America and the TSA.
    IF YA'LL DONT LIKE WHY DONT YOU LEAVE THEN?

  4. I beleive every word of this because it is very plausible. So are the FEMA camps that are ready and waiting to go. Anyone want to be complacent and get on with their mundane lives go ahead. My family and friends know what is coming for America. That's an engineered collapse just like Lehman was. This time it will be bigger and the TSA goons are now just testing the waters. If you want to survive the 30 years of riots coming soon, start preparing now. What are you going to do when the cut the food, electricity, water and your precious internet? Be prepared or die.

  5. to my fellow compatriots i am compelled to quote the Texas Declaration of independence of 1836

    (excerpts taken to make a point i suggest you also read the Texas State Constition of 1876)
    "When a government has ceased to protect the lives, liberty and property of the people, from whom its legitimate powers are derived, and for the advancement of whose happiness it was instituted, and so far from being a guarantee for the enjoyment of those inestimable and inalienable rights, becomes an instrument in the hands of evil rulers for their oppression.

    When the Federal Republican Constitution of their country, which they have sworn to support, no longer has a substantial existence, and the whole nature of their government has been forcibly changed, without their consent, from a restricted federative republic, composed of sovereign states, to a consolidated central military despotism, in which every interest is disregarded but that of the army and the priesthood, both the eternal enemies of civil liberty, the everready minions of power, and the usual instruments of tyrants.

    When, long after the spirit of the constitution has departed, moderation is at length so far lost by those in power, that even the semblance of freedom is removed, and the forms themselves of the constitution discontinued, and so far from their petitions and remonstrances being regarded, the agents who bear them are thrown into dungeons, and mercenary armies sent forth to force a new government upon them at the point of the bayonet.

    When, in consequence of such acts of malfeasance and abdication on the part of the government, anarchy prevails, and civil society is dissolved into its original elements. In such a crisis, the first law of nature, the right of self-preservation, the inherent and inalienable rights of the people to appeal to first principles, and take their political affairs into their own hands in extreme cases, enjoins it as a right towards themselves, and a sacred obligation to their posterity, to abolish such government, and create another in its stead, calculated to rescue them from impending dangers, and to secure their future welfare and happiness.
    It incarcerated in a dungeon, for a long time, one of our citizens, for no other cause but a zealous endeavor to procure the acceptance of our constitution, and the establishment of a state government.

    It has failed and refused to secure, on a firm basis, the right of trial by jury, that palladium of civil liberty, and only safe guarantee for the life, liberty, and property of the citizen.

    It has failed to establish any public system of education, although possessed of almost boundless resources, (the public domain,) and although it is an axiom in political science, that unless a people are educated and enlightened, it is idle to expect the continuance of civil liberty, or the capacity for self government.

    It has suffered the military commandants, stationed among us, to exercise arbitrary acts of oppression and tyrrany, thus trampling upon the most sacred rights of the citizens, and rendering the military superior to the civil power.

    It has dissolved, by force of arms, the state Congress of Coahuila and Texas, and obliged our representatives to fly for their lives from the seat of government, thus depriving us of the fundamental political right of representation.

    It has demanded the surrender of a number of our citizens, and ordered military detachments to seize and carry them into the Interior for trial, in contempt of the civil authorities, and in defiance of the laws and the constitution.

    It has made piratical attacks upon our commerce, by commissioning foreign desperadoes, and authorizing them to seize our vessels, and convey the property of our citizens to far distant ports for confiscation.

    It denies us the right of worshipping the Almighty according to the dictates of our own conscience, by the support of a national religion, calculated to promote the temporal interest of its human functionaries, rather than the glory of the true and living God.

    It has demanded us to deliver up our arms, which are essential to our defence, the rightful property of freemen, and formidable only to tyrannical governments.

    It has invaded our country both by sea and by land, with intent to lay waste our territory, and drive us from our homes; and has now a large mercenary army advancing, to carry on against us a war of extermination.

    It has, through its emissaries, incited the merciless savage, with the tomahawk and scalping knife, to massacre the inhabitants of our defenseless frontiers.

    It hath been, during the whole time of our connection with it, the contemptible sport and victim of successive military revolutions, and hath continually exhibited every characteristic of a weak, corrupt, and tyrranical government.

    These, and other grievances, were patiently borne by the people of Texas, untill they reached that point at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue. We then took up arms in defence of the national constitution. We appealed to our Mexican brethren for assistance. Our appeal has been made in vain. Though months have elapsed, no sympathetic response has yet been heard from the Interior. We are, therefore, forced to the melancholy conclusion, that the Mexican people have acquiesced in the destruction of their liberty, and the substitution therfor of a military government; that they are unfit to be free, and incapable of self government.

    The necessity of self-preservation, therefore, now decrees our eternal political separation.

    the storms of war are upon the United States may god have mercy on us and give liberty the victory! god bless you all. Sic Vis Pacem , Para Bellum!

  6. If we can still count on our Constitution, it guarantees us the right to bear arms. That is in there in case our government EVER tries to turn on US and corrupt what our forefathers made possible. This is truly unbelievable. We must stop this now. What started as a war against terrorists is now turning on us! We have given the wrong people the power which they will try to use to destroy the middle class. I have know for quite some time, that the elite want the Middle Class gone. They want it as it was ages ago when there were rich people and surfs who served the elite rich. They want us to be hungry enough to slave away for them for just enough food to keep us quiet. Remember in the story of Robin Hood, everything in the land belonged to the king and if you killed a hare (rabbit), bird, or deer, you were in danger of losing your life? It was a crime punishable by death to just eat. Well, that is what they want. And with it they want pestelence to wipe a large portion of us off the planet. What a sorry group that was headed by Bush and Cheney. I call like I see it, if any of you still like those two. They brought us closer to the brink with all their new laws. I know everything I write and say is recorded somewhere. Every mundane thing I mumble on my cell phone is listened to. Big Brother has come. He hit us with a made up South Texas twang and acted like a good ole' boy. What an act. He lived like a king as he grew up. Check on it. He and Cheney and Rove or Roe or whatever that bald, bespecteled, grinning man's name is.

  7. OVER MY DEAD BODY! IT WILL BE LIKE THE SUNDANCE KID! WE'RE GONNA COME OUT SHOOTING! THERE WILL BE DEAD BODIES EVERYWHERE! NOBODY TAKES MY GUNS!

  8. Wake the fuck up yourself. How condescending of you to think that people are not awake already. Not everyone is a dumbfuck brainwashed patriot Fox news Luddite creationist moron! I know what's going on and many people do but we're waiting for it to get worse, they can't control the system they created for us anymore becaus emore people are waking up. There are more of us and they're scared of the fact. They may have the tanks but we have the numbers. How long can they hold out if everyone rises up? Not long that's for sure. Revolution will be televised and you betcha the elite will be quaking in their boots.

  9. More ppl are waking up every day this is Americas future, when thy come and get you and your family what are you going to do then? Some of you may laugh but consider the fact that in the State of Indiana they have already brought in a law that enables the police to enter into any home and search everything and confiscate any weapons or arms without any warrants. This is fact and check it out yoursel on googlef. That is in the state of Indiana right now that is law and no one ahd a goddamn say in it. The TSA travel checks are another element of the future where you will need special permits to move from A – B. Ultimate control of the population pretty much like the Nazis had over Germany prior to WW II.

    This is not a joke. Wake up. Stop laughing I know this is a jokey site but there is a serious element of truth to this article which you will not find on a regular GOVERNMENT controlled website. You see satire is the only way truth is brought forward these days because the mainstream media is lying to you every day. Especially the American media, they are merely another arm of government.

    Wake the fuck up……..please I'm begging you all now. We are all at a crossroads and we can either take the right path or stand by and watch them LEAD US down the wrong path. The choice is yours.Amen

  10. We got our guns ready for them. I wonder how many american TSA employees will hold out for this insane citizen procedures, there will be a lot of bullets firing all over the places. Then they will have to
    bring in the UN troops from other countries. There will be nothing but war going on here & that is exactly
    the agenda, overpopulation killing. We got to kill those few fuckers first, the ones that stole all our money
    to hire these goons into the TSA, those Manchurian fegotts, they tortured for years.
    I have found out who actually rules this planet. It is just one man… not the Queen, black Pope, Bilderbergers, Illuminati, Free Masons. Rothchilds-rockefellas, Jews, american war techno, no, no, all fake propaganda bull…. it is the ….. E S F …..

    find out yourself:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iENDcHE6fY&feature=related
    .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A_tp6OytWg&feature=related
    .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgaU5L-zrgg&feature=related

  11. All I have to say (and no, I do NOT travel by plane, bus, train, ship) is that if anyone tries to come to my home to touch any of my children, I WILL PROTECT WHAT IS MINE! We too, have GUNS in Alabama!!!

  12. if there are any indepent "district,superior,or other americans court,"if there iks not injuction"cease and deciss order."maybe,its time to put our american courts,close them and rebuild them for indoor basketball court.this would reduc crimnal behavior and make american courts usefull again.if you don't think United Nations court is taking over america,remember this american judges"interpola has diplomatic immunity,to seize any american confiscate them and try in un courts."interpol,with U.N. justice patrol,one day will knock superior,district courts.and announce by u.n charter,they can close down all american courts,and turn into U.N. courts system,and coward politcal judges,will have reapply,to U.N courts for new jobs…

  13. You forget, or maybe you didn't hear, the states are not our friends either. A couple of weeks ago the Indiana state supreme court decided the police can enter and search your residence for any reason they want without probable cause, without a search warrant any damn time they want. While you may not live in Indiana, and believe this doesn't pertain to you, I'm betting the citizens of Indiana didn't believe they had anything to worry about either, until their supreme court decided to do away with the fourth ammendment with the stroke of their pen! This is just the beginning. Other states will follow suit. This was just a test case to see whether the citizens would revolt. They didn't. So more states will do the same, which will allow the goonsquads to do what this article says!

  14. With all due respect but if you travel by air or rail why do you still let them touch your children in front of you? Tell me, why don't you do anything then?

    It's the same thing honey they're still violiting your kids.

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