Satellite Imaging: Ireland Disappears Off the Map

LONDON - England - The once proud nation of Ireland is no more, new satellite images have revealed.

It used to be called the Emerald Isle, as green as the greenest lush forests and pastures, untouched for centuries. An idyllic land of ancient stoned walls and quaint pubs where the Guinness runs through your veins and out the end of your todger. But no more. Ireland is now officially a land that has disappeared off the map. It has been compromised, it’s heart and Celtic soul ripped unceremoniously from its juddering ribs and devoured by the insatiable cash black hole called the EU.


There’s no pot of EU gold at the end of the rainbow guarded by a Leprechaun, instead there lies a Belgian plastic bag with a soiled nappy full of festering shit.

There are no longer three cloves on the Shamrock, instead there is just a spindly stalk waving in the freezing winds emanating from Brussels.

“Ireland was lost when we signed over our sovereignty to Europe and joined the euro currency. It was all an illusion and we were suckered into the illusion. All those years of fighting the English are in vain, because we succumbed to an even worse nightmare called the EU. History dictates that nations are enslaved by debt, well, it’s safe to say that we won’t get out of this debt burden for the next five or six generations, if ever. In other words, we’re completely and utterly fucked,” Irish politician, Seamus O’Hanrahanrahan told the Irish Times.

That’s why, when you now look at a satellite map of where Ireland used to be, all you see is a bit of Northern Ireland and the sea.